Seriously, BCPS?

Why in 2013 when most children have attended preschool or daycare before kindergarten do the schools feel it is necessary to do "gradual entry" for kindergarten???  In a day and age when a lot of people work this just seems like the most ridiculous thing to me.  Obviously we just got our schedule for Piper's first week of kindergarten and unfortunately they handle kindergarten entry almost exactly like our old school did.  School starts on Monday, August 26 here and here is her schedule:

Monday:  No school
Tuesday: Meeting with teacher and parents at 10:30-10:45
Wednesday: No school
Thursday: Partial day 9:30-2pm (normal day is 9:15-3:45)
Friday: Normal day - she can finally ride the bus

WTH?  UGH!  I am so over this.  I was talking to my neighbors about it because two of them are school teachers and they know that they won't be able to take off and they aren't sure what they'll do.  My brother and his wife, for example, they are BOTH teachers.  Teachers can't take off the first week of school.  Never mind the fact that it's the first week of classes for me and it's probably the worst time for me to have to take off.   My neighbor who is a third grade teacher believes it's more for the school than it is for the kids.  The kids will be fine.  Thank goodness that Piper is on the Tues/Thurs schedule because my mom is off on Mon/Wed and can watch her.  But that means I will be going in super late on that Tuesday (plus the fact that I have to work until 8pm the night before thanks to orientation that I have to attend) and then I have to go in late on that Thursday because the kindergartners start AFTER the other kids and are not allowed to ride the bus.  Jason is taking a half day to pick her up.  Again....WTH?  Every single other parent I've talked to (and there are 5 kindergartners in my new neighborhood this year) are all unhappy about it.  The first week of school is already chaos with adjusting to the schedule again and this makes it worse.

Aside from all that, I'm trying to decide which mornings I will let the older kids ride the bus in the morning and which days I will start them at the before-care program.  I want them to ride the bus in the morning so the bus driver knows that they will ride the bus in the morning only occasionally (the secretary at the school told me to do this) and always in the afternoons.  But I also want them to get acclimated to the before-care program/schedule too.  Grrrrr.

Oh and my days of attending two back to school nights has begun.  Our ES is so big that they split it over two nights with the primary grades on one night and the intermediate on the other. I will be like this until Bryce and Piper are in high school and Caroline is in college so I guess I need to get used to it.  When Piper is in 5th, Bryce in 7tth, and Caroline in 9th, I will get to go to three so I am counting down waiting for that!

Not that I'm not happy school is starting.  Quite honestly, this summer has been tough given the very rainy weather we've had.  I think the kids have swam less than they ever have.  And while I've been grateful for all the help we've had this summer between my mom, my FIL, my brother and Moira, I'm looking forward to a more constant schedule.  Not sure what we'll be doing next summer for childcare but I'm thinking we may be going the nanny route.  I'd love to do some periodic camps (not all summer...I cannot afford that!) but I'd need someone who could drive them and/or pick them up.   Or maybe I just need to put them in daycare.  (Insert evil laugh here)  I've threatened it on their bad behavior days and sometimes I think it might be better.  But I'm not going to worry myself with that right now.  There will be plenty of time when it's nice and cold outside.

Wretched

Do you ever have one of those days where you feel like a wretched parent?  Monday was one of those days.  Let's just say that when the kids were finally in bed, I called my mom crying about how horrible my children are.

The day didn't start out any differently than others but started getting bad when at 3pm I realized I was getting a migraine.  My weird visual disturbances began and I took one of my migraine pills but I'm not sure how much it helped this time.  I left work at 4pm and drove home in a complete haze and was able to lay in my bed for about an hour.  My pain was managable when I got up, thankfully, and I went down for dinner.  (I've never had horrible pain like some people do with migraines - my issue is more the disturbing aura phase.  Tingly hands, not being able to see clearly, having somewhat incoherent thoughts and once when I was pregnant with Piper I had a brief period of incoherent speech.  As you can guess, once that part's over the pain is bearable.)

Thankfully, Jason managed to get the kids away from me and I rested and felt well enough to clean up dinner while he went out and put our new deck furniture together.  (Got a new table and chairs and wicker sitting set!)  This is where things started to crash and burn.

Caroline went back up to Sophia's to play, which was fine, but then Bryce and Piper wanted to go too.  Piper can't go out to play without supervision so I told her to wait.  She didn't.  She dragged her scooter through the house from the garage to get outside.  I was finishing cleaning up dinner and banged my head HARD under the table cleaning up the mess Piper still makes under the table!  This was NOT the day to bang my head.  I hurried up the street once I was done, head aching, and caught up to them.  Caroline got angry to see her siblings because she wanted to be alone with Sophia.  But, Sophia's little sister, Ella, was outside so Piper had a friend to play with. I stood and talked to their mom while they played.

But within a few minutes, Caroline was doing cartwheels (shocker) and kicked Sophia in the face by accident.  I wasn't mad at her for doing it because I know it was an accident but I was irritated she just does cartwheels without looking around.  Sophia was crying, Caroline was crying.  Sophia's mom got her some ice and the girls sat down together.  I reminded Caroline how important it was to watch where she was cartwheeling.  Can you EVER stop cartwheeling, child?


I continued to stand and watch the kids play.  Bryce kept irritating the girls because he had no other kids to play with.  He did that last week too but to a different degree and I thought I was going to kill him then.  Thankfully he kept it in check this time.  Then Caroline gets back up and cartwheels and kicks Ella in the face.  At this point, I was about to lose it.  Ella is only 2, yes, but Caroline needs to watch what she's doing!  I told her no more cartwheeling and she went out front.  Which meant that Sophia went out front along with all the other kids.

As we were walking around front, Sophia's mom said they were going to be going inside for dinner and I was going to round my kids up to go home.  But before I could utter a word, I hear Piper screaming.  Caroline had pushed her down.  Ugh.  I yelled for Caroline to come to me and then told all three kids we were going home.  Caroline freaked!  I DO NOT WANT TO GO HOME!  She started acting like an imbecile.  Threw herself on the ground and started pounding her watch into the ground (which I promptly took).  My neighbor just stood on the sideline with her girls and watched in silence...probably in horror.  And because Piper was screaming about being pushed, she wouldn't ride her bike home which meant I had to push it and Caroline is hanging behind me yelling about not wanting to go home.

Nice.

I said my quick goodbyes to my neighbor and walked down the street ignoring Caroline pushing the little bike.  My head was pounding.  Caroline went in and screamed her head off in her room upon finding out she was grounded the next day.  I went on the deck and just sat and talked to Jason while he worked.  Caroline finally came down calm and sat on my lap and we talked.  But before long, Piper was screaming again that Bryce had hit her.  (This child screams over EVERYTHING but this time I could tell she was hurt.)

Bryce had hit her and run back upstairs to pretend he hadn't done anything.  As soon as I told him I figured out what he did he started with the "Piper stupid dummyhead" talk.  Shut up! (was what I wanted to say)

I am just so done with the way Bryce treats Piper and how "dumb" he thinks she is.  At that point though, no headway was going to be made with it since he was in an uproar too.

There was the expected amount of unhappiness amongst the children at bedtime and we finally got them all to bed.  I really was at the end of my rope between my headache and parental frustration.  Aside from their behavior that night, I'm starting to have anxiety about the summer and keeping them occupied while they are at home with my IL's.  I have my work cut out for me this weekend trying to get things organized.  I do not want this behavior to persist for anyone, let alone my IL's.  (My mom has them at her house once a week and they tend to do a little better in the "bored" department since they are at her house and it's only one day a week.)

I've got a trip to the craft store planned this weekend and plan to get some things to mobilize us.  I want to create a bored jar, a summer chore chart, and various other things.  I know Caroline has 2 camps to go to and my MIL wants to have them up at her house for days here and there along with a few day trips thrown in.  I'm taking some days off here and there too.  I always get so anxious and guilty this time of year.  I would do anything for the summer off or maybe just a part time schedule in the summer, but in the world of higher ed, unless you are faculty, you're working.  It bothers me significantly less the rest of the year....practically not at all, but come June, I start feeling terrible about my failings as a mother.  I'm guessing most fathers don't feel that way.

Field Day Problems

Yesterday was the 3rd field day in a row that I've volunteered for.  And 3rd field day it's been VERY hot.  And I can tell you right now that I am DONE with field day.  Done done done done done done done!  Aside from the fact that it was a scorcher, the kids actually had a good day.  I give the credit to their teachers who were taking them in and out of the air conditioning and doing other things in between their events.  Some of the events were in the shade while other ones involved water to cool them off.  So all in all, if you asked them how it was, they loved it.

But me, not so much.

First off, I got there and found that the gym teacher had very few volunteers.  While I get that maybe you're not going to have as much help as you'd like, you'd think that maybe you'd tailor your day to not needing as many helpers.  I saw the schedule and figured it was doable.  I'd brought my lunch and figured I'd squeeze it in sometime.  I helped first with each of the classes doing their "fun run."  The kindergartners were first and Bryce got 5th place among almost 100 kids.  I couldn't believe how he ran the whole time!  It was hella hot!  But then they got to sit in the shade and eat popsicles so it was worth it.  Then we got through the first grades and second grades. It was steamy by the time the second graders had their turn and the gym teacher shortened it from 3 laps to 2 laps (1/4 mile laps) because she realized how hot it was.  So by this time it was almost 2 hours that I'd been out in the sun.

Then I went over to help with the "carnival."  This was on the hard court lot and there were 10 different carnival type games for the kids to play. OMG, it was hot.  Last year I don't think it was as bad because I was on the face painting station where I was under a canopy but someone else had already laid claim to that this year so I got stuck on the golf station....in the sun.  Ouch.  Thankfully I had a fifth grader helping me to chase balls.  I ended up spending 2 1/2 hours out there and when I heard after finishing each of the kindergartens, first grades and second grades that we still had the PM pre-k to do, I went inside to go to the bathroom.  I was hot, it was 1:45 and I hadn't been offered a chance to eat any lunch, I was starving, hot, and my water bottle was warm and almost empty.  Nice way to treat the few volunteers you have.

So, I left.  I grabbed my lunch out of Caroline's locker and left.  I felt guilty but not that bad.  And I will not help next year.  I like the gym teacher but this was ridiculous.  She needs a better plan that does not involve abusing your volunteers.

I have a nasty sunburn on my shoulders because when I put on sunscreen, I forgot to put it up on my shoulders.  I ended up rolling up my sleeves and I regret that now.  I also have a nice tan sock line but at least that doesn't hurt.  I didn't sleep great last night since I was so thirsty as a result of the sunburn (yes, I drank a LOT) and I'm a side sleeper and it hurt to sleep on my sides.

I'm glad that I helped and I liked seeing my kids having a great time but if I ever do it again, I will not volunteer to the gym teacher only to the actual teacher of my kids' class so I can travel from station to station with them and go in and out and actually eat lunch as opposed to what I experienced.  But next year with Caroline being in 3rd grade (eek!) and Bryce being in 1st grade, they will have field day on two different days and I think, to be fair, I just won't do either since I'm not taking 2 days off of work in a row to sweat my butt off.  I'd much rather take days off to attend field trips or do other things with the school.  Field day will not be one of them!

Post-Dinner Yuck

I posted about this on FB last night because I was feeling a bit, well, ENRAGED at the time.  I'm just so tired of it.  Every night for dinner, the kids generally serve themselves and the rule is you eat what is on your plate.  Obviously, you can always have more but their first serving is fairly non-negotiable even though they still try to ask how much they have to eat.  Bah!  Then generally, they jump up from the table and go play.  Fast forward to 1-2 hours later and they are whining that they are HUNGRY.  Waaaaaaaaaah!

Last night's dinner though was a perfect example though because it wasn't a dinner that they hate.  Tacos.  We actually make them to order so no one complains.  Bryce and Piper's are vegetarian and Caroline's is carnivorous.  Each child was given one taco (a small flour tortilla) filled with the things they like.  Caroline and Bryce each ate theirs without issue within a few minutes.  I almost always ask if they want more and they didn't.  They just wanted to get back outside to PLAY!  Some nights I remind them that this is it for the night, other nights I don't waste my breath.  Piper picked at her food and ate bout 1/3 of it and said she was "sooooo full."  I told her she wasn't getting anything else and I left it on the table as I often do with her plate.

Last night we ate around 6pm. At 7:15 when we were getting collected to go upstairs to start the bedtime routine, they all 3 start whining that they are SOOOOOO HUNGRY!  Now, Piper still had food on her plate and I can understand why she was hungry so then Caroline throws a fit that Piper "gets to eat."  Nevermind the fact that she ate the same amount as Piper was given.

I told her that the kitchen is closed after dinner and you need to be sure to eat enough that your belly is still satisfied 2 hours later.  I'm not saying to stuff yourself, but if you eat a satisfying meal, 2 hours later is reasonable not to be truly hungry.  (3 hours later and yes, I'd be willing to offer a healthy snack.) My children cannot grasp this concept.  To them, a meal is where you eat the bare minimum to get up from the table.

What I don't understand and having a hard time with is that this has generally been the policy at our house for a long time.  You'd think that we indulge them frequently and that's why it keeps up.  Nope.  And some nights they literally eat 5 bites of a meal that they don't like and then get up from the table.  I'm not going to mandate ever that they have to eat a certain amount, but when will they learn from their mistakes of barely eating anything?????

I also know that quite often when they say they are starving or hungry that they aren't truly hungry, they just want to snack.  It makes me nuts.  We are not a snacky family.  If you look in my pantry for a snack you're not going to find very much.  I do that on purpose!  Some fruit, whole grain crackers and such, yes, but no snacky stuff.  I do have some "snacks" on hand for school lunches but that is the ONLY thing I use them for and I don't like the kids eating them at other times.

Sometimes I just feel like I'm banging my head against the wall.  Consistency is one thing but when they still aren't getting the concept, it's hard.  I want to put a lock on my fridge and pantry to keep them out.  Caroline suggested a "Kitchen is Closed" sign but I don't know what good that would do since we basically say that and it has no impact.

The whole food/feeding/eating part of parenting is probably one of my least favorite parts of the job.  Why do we have to feed them?  Remind me again.  Some days, I don't know why I freaking bother.  Caroline is determined not to eat anything healthy and gets pickier the older she gets, I think, no matter how much healthy stuff we introduce her to.  Thank goodness the younger two are a tiny bit better but they are still major food complainers.

Ugh, Lifetouch

I know that I don't have to tell Erin this, but Lifetouch SUCKS!  Thankfully the issue isn't with a terrible photo of either of the kids, it's with their inability to fulfill my order as ordered!!!

I went to school this morning to attend Caroline's honor roll awards ceremony (kindergartners aren't eligible) and as luck would have it, both teachers saw me and thought to hand me the kids' photos.  YAY for not stuffing them in their backpacks!  I was wondering when they'd be given to us given the fact that this is around the same time as the two previous years and randomly we got the "Safety Cards" with a thumbnail preview of their photo a few weeks ago.  (To put in our wallets in case our kid would ever go missing.)  I already kind of knew what to expect based on those, but the real version was much better for each of them.  Bryce's smile is a little forced, but still cute.  I'm not looking for perfection in their photos since that's kind of part of the whole "school photo" thing.

Anyway, I looked in Caroline's package and was pretty sure I was missing two 5x7 I had ordered additionally.  Then I looked in Bryce's package. His was missing all four of the 5x7s, all the mini-wallets, and 4 of the regular wallets.  WTH?  Thankfully though, because the teachers gave them to me this morning rather than me getting them when I got home, I was able to call the second I got to work to straighten things out.

While the woman on the phone was nice and fairly helpful, it took a while to figure the packages out.  I had email receipts since I'd paid online ahead of time and knew my total but the receipt didn't have exactly what I'd ordered in terms of the package name.  But because I order the SAME thing every year, I knew what I should have had (one 8x10, four 5x7, etc).  I always order the extra 5x7s because that is what I give to the great grandmothers.  I get so annoyed at how little wiggle room you have with their packages though because I need extra 8x10s for the grandmothers too.  And when you have to order them AFTER the pictures come in, they are more expensive.

So after being on the phone for a bit, we finally got it figured out and they are sending me the missing photos.  Of course she told me it would take 2-3 weeks.  WTH? (again)

I guess the only redeeming things out of this is this year with each portrait package you get a $20 Shutterfly credit so I have $40 to spend there and might get some extra little photo prezzies for the grandmothers.  I also went and filled out the Lifetouch survey and let them have a piece of my mind and got a decent JCPenney portrait coupon which is great because we've been wanting to do a family portrait and will do so after the holidays.

At least it's cleared up, but they are just so aggravating.  I know I could take them to JCPenney cheaper but I like that whole "school photo" look you get from an in-school photo.  I'll scan them and post them later.  I'm really happy with Caroline's (the hair came out fine!) and Bryce's is cute even if it's not his most natural smile.

Unpowered

Been without power since 4pm on Saturday - before it even got windy and was only raining. Very frustrating.   It's like camping in your house. Did you know I HATE camping?????  The darkness is the worst. I can't go to sleep as soon as it gets dark and I'm tired of continuous reading by flashlight. The kids are a little unruly and I'm just done. They're saying it could be a few more days.... 

And most everyone else has generators so it's loud at night too. The equivalent of everyone mowing their law. I'm having trouble sleeping. School was cancelled today and Jay and I are taking personal days. Who knows what today will bring.

Happy Birthday, Bryce!  Sorry the day is starting off so sucky!

Dis-Enchanted

So no, we're still not done planning our Disney trip.....The initial plan had been to go in April 2012 over spring break.  Yes, we know it's the 2nd most crowded time of the year but we are prepared for that.  I guess what I wasn't 100% prepared for was the ridiculous price of going that time of year.  Jacked up prices doesn't quite cover it.  And because of it being Easter week, the chances of getting any kind of discount are virtually impossible.  I'm sure airfare will suck a big fat one too.  I'm getting to the point now where I don't want to go.  I'm completely disenchanted by the process.  Completely.  And while yes, we could afford to go and actually have money saved, it's the amount of money that I just don't want to spend.  It seems ridiculously frivolous.  I guess I see that the money that we could spend on a Disney trip would cover a much nicer vacation say to Aruba or somewhere else in the Caribbean.  When I told my mom the price we had quoted (not counting airfare), she was kind of outraged too based on how much she and my dad spent for their entire 2 week Italy trip last year.  I guess to me, when you're paying that much you'd expect a whole lot more than just a value or moderate resort.  Again, this would be a different situation if we were going at a "value" time and could get free dining and a reduced hotel rate.  I just won't pull the kids out of school.  That's my issue, yes.  And going in June after the kids get out of school isn't a whole lot better, at least in terms of hotel.  (No free dining has been announced for summer 2012 yet..)

Add to it that Jason has voiced some doubt over whether Piper is old enough to enjoy it (she would be 3.5) since we're really not planning to go again after this......

I don't know, I guess I'm just NOT feeling any kind of Disney magic right now.  All I'm seeing is capitalism and an over priced product.   If the kids didn't already know we were planning something, I'd say we're not going.  Maybe we'll just put it off another year.  I'm just not feeling it.

Kid Frustration

It's been a tough 24 hours. Last night's bedtime routine just about did both Jay and I in and then this morning it continued for me starting at 6:30. Fighting, not following directions, yelling. I'm just so tired of playing referee. "He hit me." "She made fun of me." "He pushed me." Don't get me wrong, we don't allow the kids to physically hurt one another, but when I don't see it and don't know what precipitated it, is it wrong that I don't care???? GO AWAY AND STOP BOTHERING ME!!!

Caroline wonders why Bryce gets physical with her when she taunts and teases him about something. Bryce wonders why Caroline teases him when he gets so angry and upset every.single.time. They can't stay away from each other. Constant touching. And just when you think you've had enough, they become friends for a bit. And then the two are in collusion making you absolutely freaking crazy. Screaming Christmas songs back and forth while they are supposed to be doing something. They can't live with each other and yet they can't live without each other either. Meanwhile, my sanity is hanging on by a thread.

It's not one single, big thing they are doing, it's the cumulative effect of a bunch of tiny things eating away at you. I'm tired of tattling. I'm tired of teasing. I'm tired of hearing about the misdemeanor type violence. I'm tired of hearing about who got short changed in some deal and that the other person won't go away or won't play with you. I can't come up with answers to all of these things every single time! Sometimes I feel like I'm on a really bad game show that is pressuring me for answers to seemingly impossible scenarios.

And this is without Piper being completely thrown into the mix yet. Yes, she gets into it sometimes but her lack of speech has kept her out of the bickering so far (a silver lining?).

This morning as I was trying to finish getting ready while Bryce was shrieking Christmas songs back and forth with Caroline and NOT getting dressed, I honestly almost cried. I was very close to tears. I was holding back a certain expletive that I will never ever utter at my children because it was on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to tell them to shut up, again, I refrained as it's not something I yell at my kids. I got very close to the end of my rope this morning.

Tomorrow, Bryce will be getting dressed BEFORE breakfast - he's been put on high alert about that. We're also having a talk about this tonight at dinner. Who knows if it will help, but I can't take the rest of the month of December like this if this is a partial result of holiday excitement. I just can't. I even went home in a good mood last night ready to spend a nice evening with them. Even Jason getting dinner earlier than usual had no effect. I wish I could put them each on a little treadmill and run their little legs off to burn some energy. Maybe that would put a damper on their energy to fight???

I should add too, a thank you to my MIL for listening to me vent this morning and remembering how hard it was for her with her 3 fighting kids too. So clearly, this too shall pass....she's a very patient, happy person now so clearly all those years of fighting children didn't damage her!

I just have to say...

today's weather blows.  The 9 inches of rain we got Thursday was apparently not enough (that was the final total in our area that I just read about today).  WTH Mother Nature?  If this is fall, you can take it back.  I miss summer.

That is all.

Rage

I've been talking to several of my mom friends recently about the issues we're dealing with right now with our beloved children.  It's always so helpful to know that you're NOT the only person feeling a certain way and that what you are dealing with is often "par for the course."  However, even knowing you're not alone doesn't make the situation you are dealing with personally any easier.  I mentioned to one friend recently about the feelings of rage we sometimes feel as parents.  An emotion/feeling that I know I have never truly felt before becoming a parent.  I know after having Bryce and Piper, my feelings of rage were often due to postpartum issues I was having.  But as I type this, I have been feeling surges of rage again.  Thankfully, controlled rage in that I haven't done anything to my children but the feelings I have had bubbling up inside me from time to time when dealing with a particular child are concerning nonetheless.  Jason has felt them recently too.  I understand why animals growl.  If I could growl like a mama bear or lion, I certainly would.

The particular child I am speaking of is Caroline.  Yes, Bryce has had his moments lately but largely his behavior and tantrums, while making me angry, have not left me with any particular feelings of resentment.  I can't say that about Caroline right now.  It's hard to even really describe her behavior in just a few words.  I really can't say she's having bad tantrums because they really aren't.  Maybe the best way to define it is that she's been in a REALLY bad mood the past few weeks.  A bad mood that makes her seems ungrateful and disrespectful to us.  Something that Jay and I do not tolerate.  And speaking of tolerance, she has none.  Oh and patience, she doesn't have any of that either.  So we find ourselves with a child who we truly love down to her core yet don't even want to be around.

One of the things I think that is pushing our buttons in particular right now is how relentless she is when she wants something and we've said no.  She employs the broken record technique in hopes of wearing us down - something that rarely happens, yet she tries it nonetheless.  You can only say no so many times before going ballistic.  Especially when you're running interference with 2 other children at the same time and trying to accomplish something like making dinner or getting everyone ready for bed.  Yes, she should have a consequence for the constant badgering and I know based on the 1,2,3 Magic book that would earn her a one way trip to time out, the problem is that time outs aren't really a good punishment for her anymore and sometimes you just can't manage a timeout when you've got other things you HAVE to do.  In addition, we've come to realize with Caroline that her motto would be, "It's not enough."  No matter how much time we spend with her individually, no matter how much we do for her, no matter how much love and attention we shower her with, it is not enough.  I used to feel as though I was starving her for attention because her siblings were constantly in the forefront and she was quieter in the background.  I've finally come to realize that even when I do take the time to play with JUST her for an afternoon or to do something nice with her, when all is said and done, it still was not enough.  So how do you teach a child to be grateful?  That is something I'm struggling with.

I know that this is a stressful time of year and I realize she's experiencing her own growing pains of sort.  But that doesn't give her free reign to be nasty to everyone that crosses her path (outside of school, of course).  I know that Bryce is a big source of her angst right now having just had a birthday and getting a little more attention than usual along with the fact that he hasn't started school yet and she's jealous of him being home this week.  I'm hoping that the further we get from his birthday and him starting school next week that this will be one source trigger that fades.  Jason has already had a few heart to hearts with her about how Bryce's birthday made her feel and that when it is her birthday he won't be allowed to try and take her gifts and that she'll have her own special treatment too. 

It doesn't help either that she's like this from the second she wakes up in the morning until she's asleep at night.  She wakes up in a bad mood yelling that Bryce and Piper woke her up, even though it's the normal time she wakes up on her own and they just happen to be up and talking - sorry Caroline, you are NOT a princess and the house is waking up and it's just part of being a family.  I know a few little people that always wake me up on the weekends and I don't start screaming the second they wake me up.  Grrrrr.

So I've come up with a new behavior plan we are going to start this weekend when I get all my ducks in row.  I've seen a modified version of it on SuperNanny (with big jars of ping pong balls) and so we'll give it a try without the annoying huge jar and balls!  Basically it's a point system in that each day they start with a number of points (probably 20 in the beginning) on a dry erase board.  As the day goes on, for lower level violations (like whining, badgering, not following directions) they will get one warning that they are about to lose a point and if they don't shape up, a point is taken away.  For higher violations like hitting, fighting, dangerous behavior) they will automatically lose a point.  At the end of the day, whatever points they are left with are banked and after they accumulate a certain number of points (maybe like 50 the first time?), they will get a prize from the dollar store prize box.  After they get better at it, because, well I am telling myself this WILL help, I'll lower the points they start with and raise the number of points they need to get a prize.  I figure it's a combination of positive and negative reinforcement.  I brought it up to Caroline last night to see what she thought and she seemed very interested and wanted to start it right away. I'll even toy with the idea once we get rolling with it to award points for good deeds above and beyond normal behavior.  So this weekend I need to get a dry erase board and a little box of prizes - hello Target dollar bins!

I'll keep you updated on how it goes.  I need something that is a more mature approach to discipline in our house and I think this will fit the bill for the older two.  The key, as with any approach, is consistency and for the parents, it' the ease of consistency.  I think it will be fairly easy for my mother/mother in law to help with too, but I largely think that most points will be lost in the evening hours.

What do you do.....

when your mother offers/wants to buy your eldest daughter a nice, new pair of tennis shoes for back to school and your daughter refuses to go to the store? 

Her old shoes look TERRIBLE are probably getting too small and are starting to fall apart.  Plus, my mom has a coupon AND there is tax free shopping this week.  It is very nice of my mom to offer and I truly appreciate it  - so do we send her to school with disgusting shoes and wait until she complains and then end up having to buy her shoes without the discounts?  Or drag her to the store and spend a miserable amount of time with her where she doesn't like anything and the trip is futile. My mom is certainly not going to get them without her because of the sizing issue and Caroline's increasing pickiness when it comes to her clothing.   It's moments like these that make me understand why some species eat their young.

Grumpy

Maybe I'm the one who is going to throw the tantrum tonight.  Why you ask?  Well, we are pretty much without water AGAIN!  The damn water main that broke back in December and then was turned off for an entire day in April to fix it, is still really not fixed and broke AGAIN.  We have lived here for over 7 years and lost water more times than I can count - I think we've only lost power a handful of times.  Power, I can handle a brief interlude, not water.  (Although it's considerably less boring w/o water and the kids aren't freaking out as they would have w/o power.)

The latest report says it might be on at 2pm tomorrow.  That throws a wrench into all kinds of plans.  Because of my ILs being on vacation this week, my sister has kindly offered to help us tomorrow so Jay and I don't have to take off.  The plan had been for them to hang out here all day.  Knowing it is going to be super hot, I blew up the splash pool and let it soak with OxyClean to get the nastiness out of it with plans to clean it out tonight.  Heh, no sprayer.  Grrrr.  So the plan B (glad I have a plan B) is that I'm going to get the kids up early and take them to my mom's and meet Chrissa there.  The only thing with her taking care of them there is there is so much more for me to have to tell her about being there with them - especially with the pool.  (Not that I don't think she can handle it, I just feel all OCD telling her so many lame-o details - like make sure you put a onesie on Piper before naptime or ew!).  Plus, Piper in the pool is a bit of an, um, handful???  I know I'm exhausted after a day at the pool with them.  Again, Chrissa is a megawoman so I know she'll be fine.  She might never speak to me again but the kids will be fine.

I didn't even go into details with her about the stupid sunscreen.  Like which kid can have which sunscreen and which to put on faces.  Man, putting that in writing makes me feel like a real crazed lunatic.  But if you put anything other than the one kind on their faces, it burns their eyes and you're limited by what you can put on Bryce without him breaking out in rash.  And that same magic stuff is almost gone.  Man, I wish I'd stopped and bought another can of the spray.  Crap.

So off to bed and fill up my toilet with a bucket of water I've so carefully filled with the trickle coming from my faucet.  I'm still planning on getting up early to exercise, I'll just take a quick shower at my mom's.  Great, more stuff (my own) to pack.

Thwarted

So I had a kind of crappy night of sleep last night - had a hard time going to sleep even though I was tired, Piper waking up and wanting a drink of water, having a weird dream about part of Piper's leg coming off (um, disturbing), and then kind of half sleeping waiting for my 5:30am alarm going off. So I was laying there waiting for the alarm and I rolled over and saw my clock said 5:45 and it was blinking like the alarm was going off, yet I couldn't hear it. Some little monster had turned the volume all the way down. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I need a child proof alarm clock, pronto.

I catch my children messing with my alarm clock ALL THE TIME. If they aren't turning off the alarm, turning down the volume or changing the time, they are turning the "bird sounds" on so when the alarm goes off I can't hear it. (It's one of those clocks that has soothing sounds on it.) I kind of hate the clock anyway so really there is no love loss there if I get rid of it. But do they make anything that I can lock???? I catch them playing with it quite often and they are shooed away but yesterday, Piper must have messed with it when I came home from work and was in my room and I wasn't looking. Oh and they almost NEVER mess with Jason's clock on the other side of the bed. WTH?

Needless to say, 5:45 was too late to get up and do my work out. Crap. Thanks a lot, Piper. Guess we'll try again tomorrow. Add one more thing to my list of things to do before I go to bed - check alarm clock for the correct time, correct alarm time, correct alarm setting, correct volume.

The Fridge Hates Us

About 2 weeks ago, the ice/water dispenser in our fairly new fridge started acting wonky.  It has one dispenser that you press a button to tell it if you want water, crushed ice, or cubed ice.  At first we noticed the little light wouldn't come on at dispensing and then when you switched between your 3 choices, it took a few seconds for it to "take."  Often you'd press for water and end up getting ice because it was like it hadn't had a chance to switch gears.  Then it started beeping at us and not letting you switch away from water.  It stopped making ice too.  It's still under warranty so Jason got the local repair company responsible for Samsung appliances to come out.  They assessed it and figured it was that the motherboard needed to be replaced.  (Yeah, the fridge is so complicated it needs a freaking motherboard.)  Well, they had to order it and it came in early in the week and the guy came by today to install it.  Overall, it hadn't been too terrible of an inconvenience because the water was still working and that is what we use the most, especially me.  If I needed ice, I could open the ice maker and get some - the ice maker randomly started working again in the middle of the week too.

But, unfortunately, the motherboard replacement didn't work.  The repair guy was actually pretty surprised and frustrated that it didn't fix the problem and spent a lot of time on the phone with the company trying to figure it out.  Turns out we might have to have the whole water/ice dispenser replaced.  Lovely.  And now it won't dispense water anymore only crushed ice.  I'm not a fan of crushed ice.  Plus it keeps blinking ERROR and it was making me so crazy I had to put some sticky notes over the blinky lights to block them out.  I'm just worried that at some point the whole damn fridge is going to stop working and we'll be up a creek.

And no, we didn't buy the extra service warranty that Lowes always tries to sell you.  Most product advisors (like Consumer Reports or Smart Money) will actually tell you NOT to buy them for things that stand still.  But you can bet we bought it for our new dishwasher last week.  Of course, that will probably never give us any problems.

So here's hoping that the entire fridge doesn't go belly up and that it can be repaired without too much more intervention.  Otherwise I might have to give Mr. Samsung a piece of my mind.  LEMON!

Low Class Neighbor

We live in a nice little neighborhood, mostly families with a few random exceptions. The houses are spaced pretty well apart, which is actually an oddity these days since most new homes in our area that we see are spaced WAY too close together. It was one of the positives about this neighborhood when we chose to build here over 7 years ago. However it is interesting how much people keep to themselves here. Often in the summer we'll be the only ones outside on a beautiful evening. Weirdly quiet sometimes..... There are a few families down the street with kids around our kids' ages, but we must all be on different schedules or they are never outside because we just don't see them very often.

Our immediate surrounding neighbors are an elderly couple next door (VERY quiet), an older professional woman across the street who is almost never home, and a early 40 something couple next door with a daughter in her senior year of high school. This couple, let's call them C and R, were really nice when we moved in back in 2003. They were very social when we first moved in and we'd see them all the time. Jason helped R build his fence and then R helped Jason by getting a machine from his work to dig a big trench in the back yard for the sump pump drain. Very nice - C seems a little weird, but nothing too odd. They kept their house looking nice and they are fairly quiet.

Well, as the years progressed things got strange. We are pretty sure there are some other things going on to make it manifest on the outside of the house and given what I've been told from another set of neighbors who talk to C and R more often, things have been tough on them. We kind of guessed that C was an alcoholic and this was confirmed by the other neighbors. As time has gone on, they've taken much less pride in their house and it doesn't look very good. It's like they don't care very much anymore. They don't mow very often and then when they do, they mow it way too short. They have 3-4 dogs in their back yard that I don't think gets picked up very often. Their wooden fence they put up is starting to rot and has fallen apart in places and is completely grown over by the woods along the back property line. It's not a complete eye sore, so we're thankful for that, but it's just not the same way it was kept when we first moved in.

And then you have C who is a loose cannon. She just will randomly pop by if she sees you outside sometimes and will share the most random details of her life, that are often a bit TMI. She's a bit foul mouthed also and has NO filter - I guess if you aren't exactly sober, you don't really think about those things. I certainly have used bad language in my life but I always consider my audience and would never ever use it in front of young children - especially mine. Usually when she'll pop by, the kids are kind of doing their own thing in the yard and not standing very close by, thankfully. You see where this is going?????

So yesterday the kids and I were out on the deck - Caroline and Bryce were skating and Piper was running around and enjoying the nice weather. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, C comes walking over looking her usual mess (badly fitting pajamas at 4pm, messy hair, etc) carrying this mangy looking dog I've never seen before.

"Hey, I just wanted to apologize."

"Oh yeah, for what?" I asked having NO idea what she was talking about - as usual.

"Well, last week the garbage men picked up my trash and they busted a bag full of dog shit all over the sidewalk and it landed in both of our yards."

She didn't even flinch when she said it. The kids were standing RIGHT THERE. There was no escape. What was going to come out of her mouth next???? I didn't even know what to say - so she continued.

"Yeah, I don't know what they were doing, they just threw the bag around and dog shit and cat litter went EVERYWHERE. I was out there that night when I realized it picking up as much as I could."

Again, no realization that she was using entirely inappropriate language around my children. WTH, lady? She was clearly all fired up about this trash issue and didn't even realize she was dropping the "S bomb." I just told her we hadn't noticed and clearly it wasn't her fault, but I appreciated her letting me know. I just wanted her to leave before she said something else. Which she did......ugh.

Generally when the kids are exposed to bad language randomly, we are careful not to bring any notice to it in hopes that not really acknowledging it at this point will make them not notice either and it seems they didn't really notice. But really, I was just so taken aback, I didn't say anything. I should have. I was kind of embarrassed for her. Maybe she talks like that around her kid, but I certainly do not speak that way in front of my children. Such a scum bag.....

Bah Humbug!

As a Christmas baby, I usually have more Christmas cheer than the average person. I always wanted to start playing my Christmas music earlier than others and got excited seeing decorations going up. And before we had kids, I remember looking forward to the years when we would have kids at Christmas and seeing the joy through their eyes. But a few years ago I realized that as November began that my excitement for Christmas was waning. I first noticed it in 2005 when I got tired of Christmas music after a week or two of it.

And now, here in 2008 with 3 children, I wish we could skip the whole month of December. If I woke up tomorrow and it was January 2, I'd be happy. Thrilled even. I guess I hadn't completely thought about why I was feeling like this until last night when I was talking to my mom on the phone and telling her how little I wanted to decorate this year and how much I was dreading all the other holiday tasks. And she hit the nail on the head - I'm not looking forward to it because the holidays means MORE work for me. More stress and more things to accomplish while still having to accomplish the regular day to day things. Seriously folks, I feel like Jay and I are barely able to keep our heads above water these days with just the everyday tasks so I can't even fathom how I'll fit Christmas in this year.

Thankfully, we have wonderful family close so I'll never have to cook a big family meal or anything like that, but it's all the other stuff that goes along with it. Plus, I don't look forward to the fact that the holidays usually mean a totally messed up schedule for the kids which usually leads to difficult kids and frustrated parents. Joy to the World.

The only Christmas shopping I've done so far is the kids' toy shopping and that's because I did it all online. Each day during my pumping breaks at work, I would add things to their wish lists and then one night I just ordered it all. So at least that is done. But that doesn't take into account family/friend gifts which you really can't do all online. And don't even get me started on wrapping. Yuck. (At least I have about 3453534534 gift bags in my basement so the non-kid gifts can mostly be put in a gift bag.)

And it's not that I don't want to give people gifts, it's not that at all. I do like giving, but honestly, I don't even feel like receiving this year. I've been asked for gift lists and it's been very hard to come up with ideas beyond needing work clothes. (And on a side note, usually that means I get gift cards, which are great and appreciated, but, that means I have to go shopping. Which I haven't had time to do. I still have over $100 at Macy's from last year I haven't had time to spend, even though I REALLY need to get some new clothes.)

So yes, I'm tired and I'm still not over this cold but I just don't see how I can add one more thing to my plate. I feel like I am a plate at Thanksgiving that is packed with so many different kinds of food and piled up and then someone brings one more yummy sidedish to the table and you look at your plate and realize that even if you wanted to add it to the plate, there wouldn't be room unless you piled it on top of something else, thereby making the whole plate a disgusting mess - so it's just not worth it and you skip it because by the time you finish the plate, there's no room left in your stomach either.

How do you like that for a holiday anaology?

Early Morning Insurance Battle

Generally, I don't have a lot of complaints about our insurance. It's a point of service plan that requires stupid referrals but b/c our primary care doctor is very flexible giving them out, it isn't too bothersome. And because I work for the state, it's pretty well priced and 100% coverage outside of the copay. But, I do find it exceedingly annoying that I have to keep getting new referrals for the same doctors we see over and over. So except for one slip up about 2 years ago, I'm very good about getting referrals. I usually call a few days before an upcoming appointment to our insurance to make sure the referral is still good just to be sure that we don't end up having to pay more than we should. So when Caroline and Bryce had an appointment in early October, I called because while I was pretty sure Caroline's was valid, I didn't think Bryce's was. But, the woman I spoke with on the phone, said that it was good through the end of May. That didn't sound right to me so I asked again and she verified that I was fine for my next visit. (This is where having 3 kids and having to remember everything comes into play since I figured I certainly COULD have gotten Bryce a new referral in the spring and not remembered it.)

Then when we got to the allergist for the appointment, I was told by the office staff that they had a fax from my insurance (on their letterhead!) that said our plan didn't require referrals. WHAT? So basically, they saw that his referral was no longer valid, but because they had this fax, they didn't tell me because they figured it was okay. I made sure to get a copy of this fax and contacted the insurance the next day. They seemed totally confused about it and had me fax it back to them which I included a cover letter and asked for some clarification - which I've yet to get. So we had another appointment yesterday and I made sure to get a referral for Piper but was still operating under the assumption that Bryce's referral was valid through May 09.

Then we get home. A statement from the insurance company that says he was NOT covered for his early October visit b/c there was no referral!! WTH??? I was fuming. And then I realized his visit from yesterday wouldn't have been covered either. Soooooo, as soon as I walked in the door this morning I called and navigated through the most annoying voice recognition phone system. At least now I know how to ask for a representative very early on so I can get out of that stupid queue. And as luck would have I got a seemingly competent representative on the phone. Using my most assertive voice, I explained the story to him and told him that when I called in early October I was told that my son's referral was still good because if they had told me it wasn't I would have gotten the referral. I have a history of getting them, so why wouldn't I have done it??? So at this point, I don't know if he was trusting me at my word or he could see in the system that I had indeed called because he told me that he would contact my primary doctor for the referral himself and get it resubmitted along with yesterday's visit. I made sure to get his direct number/contact so I can check in on it next week.

I still haven't gotten any clarification on this mystery fax sent to my allergists, but at this point, it's neither here nor there since I will continue to get referrals no matter what some fax says.

I was cautiously triumphant when I called Jason to tell him and won't feel 100% better until all is said and done. Working in an office that does a lot of paperwork, I know that mistakes happen so I understand that and expect that someone will fix it when it's realized. It's just reconfirmed to me how important it is in these days to stay on top of your records and to be your own advocate because no one is watching out for you but YOU. At least the 2 doctors offices that I have to deal with in this situation are generally flexible and helpful, so that makes it a lot easier.

And I Used to Think Packing for 2 Was Hard

Nope. Packing for 3, especially when one of them is 6 weeks old is ROUGH. Add that to the fact that my phone didn't stop ringing all day because of birthday and get well wishes for Bryce (thank you!), a short visit from Katie and the girls, and Jason running much needed errands, and you have an insane day where I felt like the only time I sat down was to feed Piper. Oh and I barely got 5 hours sleep the night before. I'm tired.

Sleep Debt

I'm tired. I think my sleep habits are catching up with me. It's not that newborn only sleeping 1-2 hours at at time tired, it's that long term sleep deprivation kind. See, Piper sleeps pretty well for a baby in that she'll sleep for 5-6 hours during her first stretch of the night. But the problem is lately, she WON'T go to sleep until after 11pm. I want to go to bed around 10pm. So if she goes to sleep at 11pm or midnight (gah!), she wakes around 5am-ish and then I feed her and then barely drift back off and then Jason and the kids are up. So I'm going on about 6 hours a night, if that.

This morning, my mom came over to help me and gave me a break and had me go out and get a pedicure. THANKS! So I the woman doing my pedi finished, I stepped out of the chair and basically tripped and messed up 2 of the toenails. She fixed them and then I went back to get a brow wax. Again, as I'm walking out to sit and let my toes dry, I tripped again and messed one on the other foot up. She fixed it again. I'm sure she was thrilled. But while I know I'm clutzy, I know that the reason I tripped was b/c I'm so tired.

So now, Bryce is napping (with his hand elevated) and I'm going to try and doze with Piper. Although daytime napping often eludes me.

Piper better get with the 10pm (or earlier) bedtime soon because this is sooooooooooo not going to work when I start going back to work in a few weeks.

A Rant From a 37 1/2 Week Pregnant Woman

I pulled up at my local Babies R Us on my way home from work to get a few odds and ends that we really have to have on hand when baby girl arrives and I was instantly irritated. Now I'm normally not someone who would park in one of those "expecting mother" parking spaces, but it was in the low 90's and HOT today, the rest of the parking lot was pretty full, and did I mention I'm 37 1/2 weeks pregnant?????? This BRU has like 8 expecting mom places and I couldn't believe they were ALL filled up. ALL OF THEM. So I was thinking, damn, there better be some big old preggos in there or I'm gonna be mad.

Well, I went in and did my shopping and I didn't see ONE person that looked half as pregnant as me. In fact, I only saw a handful that were just showing. I noticed the sideway glances I was getting from other customers and knowing they were wondering when this baby was going to be falling out of me. Yes, I can still walk and do things for myself.

Yes, I know those spaces aren't exactly legal spaces and they really can't enforce them, but I know for myself I never used them when I was just a little pregnant - I was thinking about those poor souls in the last weeks of their pregnancy. I guess not everyone thinks that way. Of course, when I came out a half hour later, most of them were empty so I guess I just came at a bad time.

So this is really just a rant, not a complaint. Bad timing I guess. Oh well, at least I can still walk, um, I mean waddle. It was just so mega hot. But I did get most everything I really needed.