Do you ever have one of those days where you feel like a wretched parent? Monday was one of those days. Let's just say that when the kids were finally in bed, I called my mom crying about how horrible my children are.
The day didn't start out any differently than others but started getting bad when at 3pm I realized I was getting a migraine. My weird visual disturbances began and I took one of my migraine pills but I'm not sure how much it helped this time. I left work at 4pm and drove home in a complete haze and was able to lay in my bed for about an hour. My pain was managable when I got up, thankfully, and I went down for dinner. (I've never had horrible pain like some people do with migraines - my issue is more the disturbing aura phase. Tingly hands, not being able to see clearly, having somewhat incoherent thoughts and once when I was pregnant with Piper I had a brief period of incoherent speech. As you can guess, once that part's over the pain is bearable.)
Thankfully, Jason managed to get the kids away from me and I rested and felt well enough to clean up dinner while he went out and put our new deck furniture together. (Got a new table and chairs and wicker sitting set!) This is where things started to crash and burn.
Caroline went back up to Sophia's to play, which was fine, but then Bryce and Piper wanted to go too. Piper can't go out to play without supervision so I told her to wait. She didn't. She dragged her scooter through the house from the garage to get outside. I was finishing cleaning up dinner and banged my head HARD under the table cleaning up the mess Piper still makes under the table! This was NOT the day to bang my head. I hurried up the street once I was done, head aching, and caught up to them. Caroline got angry to see her siblings because she wanted to be alone with Sophia. But, Sophia's little sister, Ella, was outside so Piper had a friend to play with. I stood and talked to their mom while they played.
But within a few minutes, Caroline was doing cartwheels (shocker) and kicked Sophia in the face by accident. I wasn't mad at her for doing it because I know it was an accident but I was irritated she just does cartwheels without looking around. Sophia was crying, Caroline was crying. Sophia's mom got her some ice and the girls sat down together. I reminded Caroline how important it was to watch where she was cartwheeling. Can you EVER stop cartwheeling, child?
I continued to stand and watch the kids play. Bryce kept irritating the girls because he had no other kids to play with. He did that last week too but to a different degree and I thought I was going to kill him then. Thankfully he kept it in check this time. Then Caroline gets back up and cartwheels and kicks Ella in the face. At this point, I was about to lose it. Ella is only 2, yes, but Caroline needs to watch what she's doing! I told her no more cartwheeling and she went out front. Which meant that Sophia went out front along with all the other kids.
As we were walking around front, Sophia's mom said they were going to be going inside for dinner and I was going to round my kids up to go home. But before I could utter a word, I hear Piper screaming. Caroline had pushed her down. Ugh. I yelled for Caroline to come to me and then told all three kids we were going home. Caroline freaked! I DO NOT WANT TO GO HOME! She started acting like an imbecile. Threw herself on the ground and started pounding her watch into the ground (which I promptly took). My neighbor just stood on the sideline with her girls and watched in silence...probably in horror. And because Piper was screaming about being pushed, she wouldn't ride her bike home which meant I had to push it and Caroline is hanging behind me yelling about not wanting to go home.
Nice.
I said my quick goodbyes to my neighbor and walked down the street ignoring Caroline pushing the little bike. My head was pounding. Caroline went in and screamed her head off in her room upon finding out she was grounded the next day. I went on the deck and just sat and talked to Jason while he worked. Caroline finally came down calm and sat on my lap and we talked. But before long, Piper was screaming again that Bryce had hit her. (This child screams over EVERYTHING but this time I could tell she was hurt.)
Bryce had hit her and run back upstairs to pretend he hadn't done anything. As soon as I told him I figured out what he did he started with the "Piper stupid dummyhead" talk. Shut up! (was what I wanted to say)
I am just so done with the way Bryce treats Piper and how "dumb" he thinks she is. At that point though, no headway was going to be made with it since he was in an uproar too.
There was the expected amount of unhappiness amongst the children at bedtime and we finally got them all to bed. I really was at the end of my rope between my headache and parental frustration. Aside from their behavior that night, I'm starting to have anxiety about the summer and keeping them occupied while they are at home with my IL's. I have my work cut out for me this weekend trying to get things organized. I do not want this behavior to persist for anyone, let alone my IL's. (My mom has them at her house once a week and they tend to do a little better in the "bored" department since they are at her house and it's only one day a week.)
I've got a trip to the craft store planned this weekend and plan to get some things to mobilize us. I want to create a bored jar, a summer chore chart, and various other things. I know Caroline has 2 camps to go to and my MIL wants to have them up at her house for days here and there along with a few day trips thrown in. I'm taking some days off here and there too. I always get so anxious and guilty this time of year. I would do anything for the summer off or maybe just a part time schedule in the summer, but in the world of higher ed, unless you are faculty, you're working. It bothers me significantly less the rest of the year....practically not at all, but come June, I start feeling terrible about my failings as a mother. I'm guessing most fathers don't feel that way.
Showing posts with label Tantrums. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tantrums. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 06, 2012
Friday, May 18, 2012
Big Cat-astrophe
I've mentioned how Caroline is totally into cats, big cats specifically, right now. She has this new ritual of getting up at 7am to watch two episodes of Big Cat Diary. She'll watch episode one from 7 until 7:30 and then eat breakfast while she watches the 2nd episode that comes on at 7:30. Well, yesterday her world came crashing down when Bryce got up ten minutes before her and already had the TV on in the family room watching something else. I was finishing getting my lunch packed and when she saw the TV on, she got this look on her face. I simply told her she could go ahead upstairs and watch it on my (new!) TV in my room. No problem, right? She still gets to watch her beloved cats.
Nope. No go.
She crumbled. That was not the right answer. She started crying because if she watched it upstairs, how could she watch the 2nd episode while she ate her breakfast? Oh horror of horrors. I told her that maybe she should get dressed during the commercials and then eat a quick breakfast and then go back up and finish it.
Nope.
"But THIS is MY schedule. This is what I do. He needs to go and watch his show upstairs!!!!!!"
Yeah, this was going really well. She laid on the floor and whined and cried and I ignored her. She continued to yell and at this point I was getting angry. I went upstairs to finish getting ready and locked my bedroom door behind me. She was wayyyyyy beyond reason at this point and I wasn't going to indulge her. Big Cats was off the table for the day as far as I was concerned. She sat out in the hallway and hollered and cried (and banged on the door until I threatened to ground her) until I opened the door 10 minutes later. I had put the remote to the TV away so she couldn't turn it on and told her no TV this morning. I also told her that I was blocking the show for today and tomorrow on the downstairs TV as punishment for her behavior.
Of course that led to more crying and at that point my IL's arrived. I felt bad having them enter in the middle of a fit. She yelled again as she saw me blocking the show in the downstairs TV and I carefully picked her up under one arm (yeah, I can still do that although she's getting so much taller it won't be long but I'll do it while I still can) and carried her to the top of the steps and put her down calmly. I told her she needed to knock it off and that if she behaved badly for Nana and Big Dad that going outside with her friends this evening was not happening.
I think at this point she knew she was out of hand and started calming down even running out after me in the garage to hug me good bye and then waving to me from the window as I left. I had a feeling that the worst was over....and it was. She was perfect for my IL's thankfully.
I stuck to my punishment for the morning but was nice enough to record both episodes for watching later. When she came home from school yesterday she apologized for the way she acted on her own. She's actually started doing this recently which tells me she's starting to "get it." I've noticed her angry fits are shorter lived too. Maybe because when she starts we take her to her room which she can't leave until she calms down. Or perhaps the possible or actual consequences mean something to her now. I don't know. Maybe she's growing up? In that respect, one can only hope.
Nope. No go.
She crumbled. That was not the right answer. She started crying because if she watched it upstairs, how could she watch the 2nd episode while she ate her breakfast? Oh horror of horrors. I told her that maybe she should get dressed during the commercials and then eat a quick breakfast and then go back up and finish it.
Nope.
"But THIS is MY schedule. This is what I do. He needs to go and watch his show upstairs!!!!!!"
Yeah, this was going really well. She laid on the floor and whined and cried and I ignored her. She continued to yell and at this point I was getting angry. I went upstairs to finish getting ready and locked my bedroom door behind me. She was wayyyyyy beyond reason at this point and I wasn't going to indulge her. Big Cats was off the table for the day as far as I was concerned. She sat out in the hallway and hollered and cried (and banged on the door until I threatened to ground her) until I opened the door 10 minutes later. I had put the remote to the TV away so she couldn't turn it on and told her no TV this morning. I also told her that I was blocking the show for today and tomorrow on the downstairs TV as punishment for her behavior.
Of course that led to more crying and at that point my IL's arrived. I felt bad having them enter in the middle of a fit. She yelled again as she saw me blocking the show in the downstairs TV and I carefully picked her up under one arm (yeah, I can still do that although she's getting so much taller it won't be long but I'll do it while I still can) and carried her to the top of the steps and put her down calmly. I told her she needed to knock it off and that if she behaved badly for Nana and Big Dad that going outside with her friends this evening was not happening.
I think at this point she knew she was out of hand and started calming down even running out after me in the garage to hug me good bye and then waving to me from the window as I left. I had a feeling that the worst was over....and it was. She was perfect for my IL's thankfully.
I stuck to my punishment for the morning but was nice enough to record both episodes for watching later. When she came home from school yesterday she apologized for the way she acted on her own. She's actually started doing this recently which tells me she's starting to "get it." I've noticed her angry fits are shorter lived too. Maybe because when she starts we take her to her room which she can't leave until she calms down. Or perhaps the possible or actual consequences mean something to her now. I don't know. Maybe she's growing up? In that respect, one can only hope.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
The Bryce Tantrums
Caroline's tantrums seem to be a bit more manageable in the sense that I can just leave her in a room to throw her fit, get it out of her system and she'll move on. Hence my experience the other night where it was "easy" not to feed it. I just had to walk out and keep myself from telling her to be quiet.
Bryce though, wow, his tantrums are quite different. Most of Bryce's tantrums lately stem from getting put into timeout for getting physical with one of his siblings. We've noticed a sudden increase in how quickly he'll go after Caroline when he gets angry. He's always had the streak in him as we went through a biting phase, but he's gotten more physical lately. Caroline can push his buttons like no other, sometimes she barely has to say anything at all, but it sets Bryce into a rage where he starts yelling at her and then goes after her to push or hit her. Instant timeout. However, it's not until you put him in timeout that the REAL rage comes out. He hates timeouts. Has always hated them. Not that any kid is supposed to like them, but Bryce cannot handle them. I think mostly it's because Bryce hates to be alone. Just like a puppy who wants to be right with you, that is Bryce. So putting him on the steps to sit alone is torture. He reverts to the same tactics as always in screaming that he has to go to the bathroom or that he's scared. The bathroom trick is a difficult one since you don't want him to have an accident yet when you allow him to go, he won't go but when you make him sit back down he screams he has to go. And on and on and on.... He also will NOT sit on the timeout spot so you put him back again and again and again and again. It is exhausting. Usually it ends up that the other parent has to intervene and that sometimes calms him down. Don't even think about trying to put him up in his room and shutting the door. You might as well be burying him alive. He is scared to death to be alone in his room with the the door closed, even during the day. I don't get it. I haven't figured out how to "not feed" his tantrums yet. Just being anywhere near him feeds his tantrum.
I'm hoping that Caroline going back to school in a few weeks and hopefully figuring out something for him (I have a prospect I'm looking into!) will help ease his pain. I think there has been a LOT of sister/brother time this summer that can sometimes amount to trouble.
Bryce though, wow, his tantrums are quite different. Most of Bryce's tantrums lately stem from getting put into timeout for getting physical with one of his siblings. We've noticed a sudden increase in how quickly he'll go after Caroline when he gets angry. He's always had the streak in him as we went through a biting phase, but he's gotten more physical lately. Caroline can push his buttons like no other, sometimes she barely has to say anything at all, but it sets Bryce into a rage where he starts yelling at her and then goes after her to push or hit her. Instant timeout. However, it's not until you put him in timeout that the REAL rage comes out. He hates timeouts. Has always hated them. Not that any kid is supposed to like them, but Bryce cannot handle them. I think mostly it's because Bryce hates to be alone. Just like a puppy who wants to be right with you, that is Bryce. So putting him on the steps to sit alone is torture. He reverts to the same tactics as always in screaming that he has to go to the bathroom or that he's scared. The bathroom trick is a difficult one since you don't want him to have an accident yet when you allow him to go, he won't go but when you make him sit back down he screams he has to go. And on and on and on.... He also will NOT sit on the timeout spot so you put him back again and again and again and again. It is exhausting. Usually it ends up that the other parent has to intervene and that sometimes calms him down. Don't even think about trying to put him up in his room and shutting the door. You might as well be burying him alive. He is scared to death to be alone in his room with the the door closed, even during the day. I don't get it. I haven't figured out how to "not feed" his tantrums yet. Just being anywhere near him feeds his tantrum.
I'm hoping that Caroline going back to school in a few weeks and hopefully figuring out something for him (I have a prospect I'm looking into!) will help ease his pain. I think there has been a LOT of sister/brother time this summer that can sometimes amount to trouble.
Saturday, August 07, 2010
Don't Feed the Tantrum
This is the new parenting motto I came up with while waiting out a humdinger of a tantrum brought to us by our darling 6 1/2 year old this evening.
"Don't feed the tantrum."
Much like you don't want to feed stray animals because they will keep coming back, you don't want to feed the tantrum for short term and long term reasons.
I'll go into it more later, but suffice it to say I had over 40 minutes to think this one out and I didn't raise my voice once at her even though I was stewing inside. Instead I sat outside the door and did deep breathing and stretching. Maybe that will be my new tantrum strategy - will I get limber yet???? At the rate Caroline is going lately at bedtime, it may just be in the cards.
Monday, April 12, 2010
WHAT was that?
I'm not sure what to call what we went through last night - night terrors? Temper tantrum? Sleep induced fit? But good heavens, I'm exhausted this morning. I actually got to bed at a decent hour last night but thanks to Bryce I went to sleep much later than usual. Jay and I had just settled down when we heard Bryce kind of whining. Usually this means he has to go to the bathroom and when that happens one of us goes in there and helps him to the bathroom. He is a very deep sleeper and often can't wake himself up enough to go so he'll start crying because he's so uncomfortable but once you get him to the bathroom and let him go, he'll go back to sleep without any issue. Most mornings he doesn't even remember going. We try to remember to make sure he pees before bed but sometimes we just forget, I mean as adults it's just something you do - not so for little kids. After last night, we'll definitely be remembering.....
Anyway, so last night, I heard him, went in and helped him to the bathroom even though he always insists that he does NOT have to go and then he stands there and pees a river. But last night, he also had just started on a terrible coughing fit which was surely brought on by his allergies. (The poor kid is an absolute mess this year on all of his meds. Apparently, a terrible terrible allergy season. The OTC drops that worked like magic last year aren't enough this year so while we have a checkup next week, the doctor's office called in an Rx for eye drops because his eyes are so irritated. He'll continue on his Nasonex and Singulair, but I think the Zyrtec isn't strong enough anymore and I have a feeling we'll be back to an Rx antihistamine after our visit next week. Oh and it's not even oak pollen peak yet and he's THIS bad - oak is his nemesis but he's still pretty sensitive to other tree pollens.) Soooo, he's standing there in the bathroom clearly not completely awake and crying and coughing. When Bryce cries he coughs and rubs his eyes, but when he's the allergic mess he is right now, the coughing is worse and the eye rubbing makes his eyes look terrible. But it's a cycle so the harder he cries the more irritated his eyes get and the more he coughs.
I took him back to bed and tried calming him down but that didn't work because he didn't want anything. So I just sat there while he laid there whining with his eyes closed. I don't even think he knew I was there. He kept crying and saying things that weren't exactly coherent but I was pretty sure he was semi-awake. But then he said something that made me realize he might not have been truly awake at all:
sob sob, cough, choke "But where's Woof?????" cry cry cry
Who's Woof? Well, Woof is Waldo's dog from the famed Where's Waldo? books that Bryce loves so much and had been looking at intently with my mom that evening. And from there, it just got worse. Jason came in and tried laying down with him since that has worked in the past, but not last night. He kept coughing the nastiest cough and rubbing his eyes. His face was so swollen and red from all the crying and his eyes looked worse than I've ever seen them. He said he couldn't open the, but I think he just wasn't awake enough to do it. In this weird sleep cycle he said a bunch more things that let us know he was dreaming and clearly processing things from the day:
"Where's Caroline? Caroline, GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" (She had been in his room right before he went to sleep and they had a little argument about it. Caroline slept through all of this!)
"I will not eat that. I don't like that. I don't like chicken!!" (He had a big fit after dinner about not wanting to eat one bite of chicken on his plate and we made him eat it if he wanted anything else.)
He yelled about Caroline several times, actually. And the chicken tantrum came up once or twice too. Finally, after he laid there for the better part of an hour and we left and then each went back separately to try to calm him, Jason went back one last time and took him a cool washcloth for his face. I don't know if that snapped him out of it or it just happened to be the end of the cycle, but all of a sudden I heard Bryce's non-crying, nice voice say "See you in the afternoon, daddy" and that was that. Jason said he even hugged him. Instantly quiet.
This morning, Bryce did remember crying and you could certainly see how an hour of hard crying had affected his eyes, but he didn't remember all the things he said. In fact, as I expected, he thought it was hilarious the things he had said. So is this a night terror? (Katie, I know you have dealt with things like this with E and L.) I guess I always thought a night terror was involving some kind of scary dream or something but clearly, in Bryce's case, it has to do with things he dealt with that day that were upsetting to him. I also believe that Bryce's high allergy state right now is making him more sensitive than usual and he crumbles into crying about every 30 minutes so his sleeping is clearly disrupted too. I told my mom today to try and get him to lay down for a little bit since I think he needs a nap more than ever. I know I sure as heck could use one today.
Anyway, so last night, I heard him, went in and helped him to the bathroom even though he always insists that he does NOT have to go and then he stands there and pees a river. But last night, he also had just started on a terrible coughing fit which was surely brought on by his allergies. (The poor kid is an absolute mess this year on all of his meds. Apparently, a terrible terrible allergy season. The OTC drops that worked like magic last year aren't enough this year so while we have a checkup next week, the doctor's office called in an Rx for eye drops because his eyes are so irritated. He'll continue on his Nasonex and Singulair, but I think the Zyrtec isn't strong enough anymore and I have a feeling we'll be back to an Rx antihistamine after our visit next week. Oh and it's not even oak pollen peak yet and he's THIS bad - oak is his nemesis but he's still pretty sensitive to other tree pollens.) Soooo, he's standing there in the bathroom clearly not completely awake and crying and coughing. When Bryce cries he coughs and rubs his eyes, but when he's the allergic mess he is right now, the coughing is worse and the eye rubbing makes his eyes look terrible. But it's a cycle so the harder he cries the more irritated his eyes get and the more he coughs.
I took him back to bed and tried calming him down but that didn't work because he didn't want anything. So I just sat there while he laid there whining with his eyes closed. I don't even think he knew I was there. He kept crying and saying things that weren't exactly coherent but I was pretty sure he was semi-awake. But then he said something that made me realize he might not have been truly awake at all:
sob sob, cough, choke "But where's Woof?????" cry cry cry
Who's Woof? Well, Woof is Waldo's dog from the famed Where's Waldo? books that Bryce loves so much and had been looking at intently with my mom that evening. And from there, it just got worse. Jason came in and tried laying down with him since that has worked in the past, but not last night. He kept coughing the nastiest cough and rubbing his eyes. His face was so swollen and red from all the crying and his eyes looked worse than I've ever seen them. He said he couldn't open the, but I think he just wasn't awake enough to do it. In this weird sleep cycle he said a bunch more things that let us know he was dreaming and clearly processing things from the day:
"Where's Caroline? Caroline, GET OUT OF MY ROOM!" (She had been in his room right before he went to sleep and they had a little argument about it. Caroline slept through all of this!)
"I will not eat that. I don't like that. I don't like chicken!!" (He had a big fit after dinner about not wanting to eat one bite of chicken on his plate and we made him eat it if he wanted anything else.)
He yelled about Caroline several times, actually. And the chicken tantrum came up once or twice too. Finally, after he laid there for the better part of an hour and we left and then each went back separately to try to calm him, Jason went back one last time and took him a cool washcloth for his face. I don't know if that snapped him out of it or it just happened to be the end of the cycle, but all of a sudden I heard Bryce's non-crying, nice voice say "See you in the afternoon, daddy" and that was that. Jason said he even hugged him. Instantly quiet.
This morning, Bryce did remember crying and you could certainly see how an hour of hard crying had affected his eyes, but he didn't remember all the things he said. In fact, as I expected, he thought it was hilarious the things he had said. So is this a night terror? (Katie, I know you have dealt with things like this with E and L.) I guess I always thought a night terror was involving some kind of scary dream or something but clearly, in Bryce's case, it has to do with things he dealt with that day that were upsetting to him. I also believe that Bryce's high allergy state right now is making him more sensitive than usual and he crumbles into crying about every 30 minutes so his sleeping is clearly disrupted too. I told my mom today to try and get him to lay down for a little bit since I think he needs a nap more than ever. I know I sure as heck could use one today.
Friday, August 07, 2009
Pee Tantrum
Oh ma ga. Last night at 11pm, Bryce started crying out for Jason that he had to go to the "bafroom." Usually Jason gets up but I was still kind of awake so I went in. He was crying and clearly in pain (he had to GO!) so I carried him into the bathroom thinking that would make it better. Well, WRONG. He started stomping around SCREAMING and not even trying to go to the bathroom. He was getting more worked up by the second and all of a sudden I saw a wet spot on his shorts start to grow. I coralled him to the toilet, pulled down his shorts and helped him and my goodness he had to GO! I know how much it hurts when you have to go that badly.
So he finished up and I figured things would quiet down now. Nope. I had to take his shorts and underwear because they were wet and that made him hella mad. And the tantrum continued and then Piper woke up from all the noise. I got him a fresh pair of undies but that clearly ticked him off more because the screaming got louder and he started thrashing around trying to avoid me putting the underpants on him. At this point, I guess the screaming was so loud and his struggle so great that Jason came in. Jason laid down next to him on the bed where he was thrashing and BAM, he kicked Jason. Not good. I left, knowing he was in good hands and went into a crying Piper. I rocked Piper back to sleep while I listened to Bryce continue on and on about whatever it was he was upset about. Finally, Jason got him settled down and he went back to sleep.
This morning, I asked him if he remembered his fit and he told me no, but as soon as my MIL arrived he told her that "Mommy took off my shorts and wouldn't put them back on me. They weren't wet. I don't know why she took them!" Clearly we see things a little bit differently.
Jason has told him before that he doesn't need to call us if he has to go to the bathroom, just to go, but so far he hasn't done it. Although Caroline was over 4 years old before she was able to sleep without a pull-up on at night so I know it's just a matter of time before he accomplishes this too. He's been pretty much potty trained at night since he was daytime potty trained but this pee tantrum was a first - and hopefully last!!
So he finished up and I figured things would quiet down now. Nope. I had to take his shorts and underwear because they were wet and that made him hella mad. And the tantrum continued and then Piper woke up from all the noise. I got him a fresh pair of undies but that clearly ticked him off more because the screaming got louder and he started thrashing around trying to avoid me putting the underpants on him. At this point, I guess the screaming was so loud and his struggle so great that Jason came in. Jason laid down next to him on the bed where he was thrashing and BAM, he kicked Jason. Not good. I left, knowing he was in good hands and went into a crying Piper. I rocked Piper back to sleep while I listened to Bryce continue on and on about whatever it was he was upset about. Finally, Jason got him settled down and he went back to sleep.
This morning, I asked him if he remembered his fit and he told me no, but as soon as my MIL arrived he told her that "Mommy took off my shorts and wouldn't put them back on me. They weren't wet. I don't know why she took them!" Clearly we see things a little bit differently.
Jason has told him before that he doesn't need to call us if he has to go to the bathroom, just to go, but so far he hasn't done it. Although Caroline was over 4 years old before she was able to sleep without a pull-up on at night so I know it's just a matter of time before he accomplishes this too. He's been pretty much potty trained at night since he was daytime potty trained but this pee tantrum was a first - and hopefully last!!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Cleaning Up Blues.....
UGH!!! I am so tired of the kids going ballistic when Jason and I tell them to clean up the playroom or their room. This past Friday night, I arrived home from Piper's checkup to two screaming kids. The reason? Jason had insisted they clean up the playroom. They screamed, they cried, they bargained, they whined, they tried to talk their way out of it.... I was hungry so Jason made dinner while I supervised them NOT cleaning up and then Piper, Jay and I ate. I told the two non-cleaners that they weren't getting any dinner until they finished cleaning. (Not that they really cared since they hate everything we have these days!) So while we were eating, they started playing some game with a ball and kept telling us they were cleaning up. They even turned on some music on the radio and our hopes were higher. Well, they did nothing. In fact they even broke a table in the process.
Once Jay and I were done eating and cleaning up, they started telling us they were hungry and wanted to eat and I insisted that they could have water until they cleaned up. Again, more attempts at bargaining and asking for help with constant whining and crying. Why they think we should help them is beyond me! Finally, I don't know what did it, but they started cleaning up and within FIVE MINUTES it was cleaned up. All of a sudden, tears dried up and they were ready to eat. We told them what a nice job they had done and tried to get them to realize how quickly it went when they actually did it instead of walking around in circles whining about having to do it. We kept threatening to put all of their toys that were on the floor in a bag and take them away but that was met with mixed emotions. When we did that once before, they were upset about it for about 5 minutes and then they realized that they got us to clean up for them. Plus, they didn't really even care since the odds and ends that were taken away didn't even matter to them. So total time from start to finish of the Friday night playroom saga: almost 2 hours! Total time to actually clean up the playroom: 5-10 minutes. Grrrr.
Then tonight, both kids had messy rooms and we told each of them they had to clean up. Caroline balked at first and then by the time I got Piper to bed, she was almost done and had done a really good job. Bryce, on the other hand, was headed down a one way street to tantrum-ville. It was bad. I got Caroline in the tub and while she got clean, I finished cleaning the rest of the bathroom while listening to Bryce go apesh*t in his room. Seriously, if you saw the "mess" in his room you would have laughed. It was NOTHING compared to Caroline's - total cleanup time might have been just over a minute. But he refused. Started saying he was going to barf (never did). It just went on and on. I tapped Jason out and took over and Bryce clearly was losing steam but was still refusing to pickup. Finally, I told him I'd "help" him and started by throwing one toy into the basket and then coaching him through picking up the first few items and then he did the rest on his own. Total tantrum lasted about an hour. Man. This has got to stop.
As they get older they will clearly have more chores/tasks to do than this so I'm already getting worried. They get upset having to pick up a few of Piper's toys from time to time but of course the argument that Jason and I do a lot of things for them never seems to matter. We'll just keep pressing on. Although I will say I wasn't in the mood for another playroom cleanup debacle tonight and I am currently looking at a playroom in disarray but that can be dealt with tomorrow.
Once Jay and I were done eating and cleaning up, they started telling us they were hungry and wanted to eat and I insisted that they could have water until they cleaned up. Again, more attempts at bargaining and asking for help with constant whining and crying. Why they think we should help them is beyond me! Finally, I don't know what did it, but they started cleaning up and within FIVE MINUTES it was cleaned up. All of a sudden, tears dried up and they were ready to eat. We told them what a nice job they had done and tried to get them to realize how quickly it went when they actually did it instead of walking around in circles whining about having to do it. We kept threatening to put all of their toys that were on the floor in a bag and take them away but that was met with mixed emotions. When we did that once before, they were upset about it for about 5 minutes and then they realized that they got us to clean up for them. Plus, they didn't really even care since the odds and ends that were taken away didn't even matter to them. So total time from start to finish of the Friday night playroom saga: almost 2 hours! Total time to actually clean up the playroom: 5-10 minutes. Grrrr.
Then tonight, both kids had messy rooms and we told each of them they had to clean up. Caroline balked at first and then by the time I got Piper to bed, she was almost done and had done a really good job. Bryce, on the other hand, was headed down a one way street to tantrum-ville. It was bad. I got Caroline in the tub and while she got clean, I finished cleaning the rest of the bathroom while listening to Bryce go apesh*t in his room. Seriously, if you saw the "mess" in his room you would have laughed. It was NOTHING compared to Caroline's - total cleanup time might have been just over a minute. But he refused. Started saying he was going to barf (never did). It just went on and on. I tapped Jason out and took over and Bryce clearly was losing steam but was still refusing to pickup. Finally, I told him I'd "help" him and started by throwing one toy into the basket and then coaching him through picking up the first few items and then he did the rest on his own. Total tantrum lasted about an hour. Man. This has got to stop.
As they get older they will clearly have more chores/tasks to do than this so I'm already getting worried. They get upset having to pick up a few of Piper's toys from time to time but of course the argument that Jason and I do a lot of things for them never seems to matter. We'll just keep pressing on. Although I will say I wasn't in the mood for another playroom cleanup debacle tonight and I am currently looking at a playroom in disarray but that can be dealt with tomorrow.
Thursday, November 06, 2008
The Saga Continues
Bryce came into our room just a little before 1am last night asking to be covered back up again. Oh man.....I was soooooo tired from the night before and still being sick and running around like crazy yesterday. So Jason got up with him and so it began...again. The first night we did the "put him back in bed" thing and let him cry it out, it took about an hour. On Tuesday night, it lasted about 45 minutes. So I'm happy to report that last night's ordeal only lasted about 20 minutes and he seemed a little less intense. I hope the end is in sight.
So while Jason stood down the hall and put him back in bed and waited until he was done screaming to come back to bed, I laid in bed listening to him scream. And of course, Piper woke up around 2am to eat. So 5:45am came very early again this morning. And you'd think that Bryce would have slept in later, but he didn't. He came busting in just before 6am like nothing had been wrong the night before.
At the end of it all last night, he managed to cover himself up again and was proud of that again this morning. It's interesting to hear the things he thinks of to yell about in these highly intense tantrums and something funny I noticed last night was that it seemed he thought of all new things to yell about. I wanted to joke with Jason that Bryce had all new material last night, but never managed to get that out in my sleepy stupor this morning. The night before he had been yelling about his foot hurting, wanting to be covered up, needing a drink, not wanting his wa-wa, wanting his door closed, his leg hurting, wanting medicine, and being scared. Last night, he found a whole bunch of other things to complain about and, now, for the life of me, I cannot remember them. He's certainly trying every trick he knows in the book to try which tells me a lot of this is about his need for attention. But what's funny is that Bryce probably has always gotten more attention than Caroline. Not because we favor one over the other, but because Bryce is a fiend for attention and asks for it while Caroline is much more relaxed and non-chalant about it. Bryce greets you when you come in and wants to be sitting by you/on you all the time where as you have to seek Caroline out for attention. Bryce is the one giving out extra hugs and kisses while Caroline usually just waits for them. They are just such different kids in that respect. And somehow, Caroline managed to sleep through his fit last night. How, I don't know since their doors face each other and her door stayed open the entire time. I think maybe she has a subconscious filter that filters crying siblings out because Piper has never woken either of them up before. Strange how keen the mind works, even in sleep.
So while Jason stood down the hall and put him back in bed and waited until he was done screaming to come back to bed, I laid in bed listening to him scream. And of course, Piper woke up around 2am to eat. So 5:45am came very early again this morning. And you'd think that Bryce would have slept in later, but he didn't. He came busting in just before 6am like nothing had been wrong the night before.
At the end of it all last night, he managed to cover himself up again and was proud of that again this morning. It's interesting to hear the things he thinks of to yell about in these highly intense tantrums and something funny I noticed last night was that it seemed he thought of all new things to yell about. I wanted to joke with Jason that Bryce had all new material last night, but never managed to get that out in my sleepy stupor this morning. The night before he had been yelling about his foot hurting, wanting to be covered up, needing a drink, not wanting his wa-wa, wanting his door closed, his leg hurting, wanting medicine, and being scared. Last night, he found a whole bunch of other things to complain about and, now, for the life of me, I cannot remember them. He's certainly trying every trick he knows in the book to try which tells me a lot of this is about his need for attention. But what's funny is that Bryce probably has always gotten more attention than Caroline. Not because we favor one over the other, but because Bryce is a fiend for attention and asks for it while Caroline is much more relaxed and non-chalant about it. Bryce greets you when you come in and wants to be sitting by you/on you all the time where as you have to seek Caroline out for attention. Bryce is the one giving out extra hugs and kisses while Caroline usually just waits for them. They are just such different kids in that respect. And somehow, Caroline managed to sleep through his fit last night. How, I don't know since their doors face each other and her door stayed open the entire time. I think maybe she has a subconscious filter that filters crying siblings out because Piper has never woken either of them up before. Strange how keen the mind works, even in sleep.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Should Have Stayed Home
I really should have just stayed home this morning. I already had planned to leave by 1pm because Bryce and Piper have an allergist appointment this afternoon. (Bryce for his peanut/walnut food challenge and Piper for her initial food skin test.) I made the appointment in mid-afternoon so that we wouldn't end up being there late into the afternoon/early evening - but because daycare naptime is 1-3pm (and with snack until 3:30pm) that meant it would be easier if the kids either didn't go to school today or had a half day. My mom was already going to have Piper today so I asked her if she wanted to have all 3 of them and she was more than happy to oblige. But the way I felt this morning when I woke up was less than great.
Not only am I feeling like total crap thanks to this cough and congestion, I'm exhausted. Went to bed a little bit later since I love watching statistical analysis and all those cool touch screen graphics but was rudely awakened before midnight by a yelling Bryce. Jason went in and did whatever it was he asked but as soon as Jason got back in bed, Bryce started again. I'd had it. I am tired of this. So, I went in, put him back in bed and the screaming started. We went through this on Thursday night at bedtime so I was prepared and I think going through that recently made this a little bit easier. He didn't get out of bed as often but he screamed and yelled for things until about 12:30am - I stayed in the hallway (where he couldn't see me) and put him back in bed or made him lay back down every so often. Finally, around then, his screams changed to yells/loud talking and finally around 12:40am, he covered himself up and went to sleep. Through the entire ordeal, I didn't utter a single word. I'm getting pretty good at this. (Jason got up a few times to help but b/c Bryce started yelling for him, he was afraid that by going in and doing what I was doing, it would be appeasing him.) So happy that Bryce was quiet again, I got back in bed only to hear Piper stirring about 5 minutes later. So I dragged myself into her room, sat down and nursed her for about 15 minutes and then got her back to bed. So 5:45 came VERY early this morning.
And then I get to work and find out that our data system has been down since 4pm yesterday. (I left at 2:30pm to vote.) Sweet. Why did I bother?
Here's hoping that this continued vigilance at bedtime with Bryce will pay off. I will NOT have a child that thinks we're at his beck and call - especially when it come to disturbing other family members' sleep.
Not only am I feeling like total crap thanks to this cough and congestion, I'm exhausted. Went to bed a little bit later since I love watching statistical analysis and all those cool touch screen graphics but was rudely awakened before midnight by a yelling Bryce. Jason went in and did whatever it was he asked but as soon as Jason got back in bed, Bryce started again. I'd had it. I am tired of this. So, I went in, put him back in bed and the screaming started. We went through this on Thursday night at bedtime so I was prepared and I think going through that recently made this a little bit easier. He didn't get out of bed as often but he screamed and yelled for things until about 12:30am - I stayed in the hallway (where he couldn't see me) and put him back in bed or made him lay back down every so often. Finally, around then, his screams changed to yells/loud talking and finally around 12:40am, he covered himself up and went to sleep. Through the entire ordeal, I didn't utter a single word. I'm getting pretty good at this. (Jason got up a few times to help but b/c Bryce started yelling for him, he was afraid that by going in and doing what I was doing, it would be appeasing him.) So happy that Bryce was quiet again, I got back in bed only to hear Piper stirring about 5 minutes later. So I dragged myself into her room, sat down and nursed her for about 15 minutes and then got her back to bed. So 5:45 came VERY early this morning.
And then I get to work and find out that our data system has been down since 4pm yesterday. (I left at 2:30pm to vote.) Sweet. Why did I bother?
Here's hoping that this continued vigilance at bedtime with Bryce will pay off. I will NOT have a child that thinks we're at his beck and call - especially when it come to disturbing other family members' sleep.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Biting Again
Sigh....Bryce's biting has resurfaced. Since he initally started it and we went through an intense period with it happening frequently, we thought we were in "remission" with it. Well, it's back and worse than before. He's still only biting Caroline, but now it's happening with even less provocation. He's already bitten her 3 times today and always leaving teeth marks.
I didn't witness the 3rd time since we were at my mom's and he was out in the pool with Caroline and my mom, but the first time was just because he didn't want her to walk by him at the top of the steps. Talk about a tyrant.
Needless to say, I'm pretty frustrated with him. He KNOWS I'm mad when I come at him after I catch him crying about not going to time out. I've started taking things away from him too. We've read that darn biting book a million times and we talk about how he's not an animal and that animals bite. All things he "gets" when he's not in the throws of his temper.
Right now, he's had a preemptive earlier nap because of the biting incident out by my mom's pool and he sat and screamed in the back bedroom for a while. Then he calmed down and I could hear him talking (in a crying type voice) about how he won't bite Caroline anymore. Yeah, like I believe that.
I'm really hoping that the new seperation the two of them will have when Caroline starts school on Monday will help. Bryce has been with Caroline his entire 3 years all day, every day. So, I think this new school/daycare situation for Caroline couldn't be coming at a better time. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but let's hope it also helps the mouth stay closed longer too and the biting stops.
I didn't witness the 3rd time since we were at my mom's and he was out in the pool with Caroline and my mom, but the first time was just because he didn't want her to walk by him at the top of the steps. Talk about a tyrant.
Needless to say, I'm pretty frustrated with him. He KNOWS I'm mad when I come at him after I catch him crying about not going to time out. I've started taking things away from him too. We've read that darn biting book a million times and we talk about how he's not an animal and that animals bite. All things he "gets" when he's not in the throws of his temper.
Right now, he's had a preemptive earlier nap because of the biting incident out by my mom's pool and he sat and screamed in the back bedroom for a while. Then he calmed down and I could hear him talking (in a crying type voice) about how he won't bite Caroline anymore. Yeah, like I believe that.
I'm really hoping that the new seperation the two of them will have when Caroline starts school on Monday will help. Bryce has been with Caroline his entire 3 years all day, every day. So, I think this new school/daycare situation for Caroline couldn't be coming at a better time. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but let's hope it also helps the mouth stay closed longer too and the biting stops.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
The Ziti Incident
Bryce has certainly been asserting his desire for control lately which I know is a normal two year old behavior. But why does it have to be so messy?
We had baked ziti last night for dinner - something he usually eats without question. When we put it down in front of him, the first thing he asked was for no sauce. Now, when we have spaghetti, we always give them the option of no sauce, which he has recently adopted since Caroline has always chosen naked pasta. So I told him, no, that all pasta has sauce on it tonight and he needed to taste it before he passed judgement. He insisted he didn't like it and pushed it away.
So we all sit down and eat - Caroline is eating away and commenting that it's tasty while Bryce sits and drinks his milk and refuses to eat the ziti. Jay and I are engaging the kids in conversation, as usual, and Bryce keeps insisting he doesn't like the ziti even though he has not tasted it. So the 3 of us finish our food and Bryce still hasn't taken a single bite and I remind him that if he doesn't at least taste the food, he isn't eligible for any other food in the evening. I also tell him that tasting it is a requirement if he wants to get down before bathtime and Jay straps him into his booster to be sure he can't get out. Of course that makes him royally angry and I go ahead and put the tray of the booster seat on to prevent his attempts at twisting around. (I was very thankful later on, that I had done this!)
I go about cleaning up dinner while Jason and Caroline play together in the playroom. Bryce continues to cry and is starting to cough and get REALLY worked up about not wanting to eat and wanting to get down. And then, all of a sudden, SPLAT!!!!! He throws up! Ugh. Now this is where I am glad about the tray since it contained a large part of his expulsion. My first thought is wondering if he's still sick, but then I realize the only thing he threw up was the milk he'd been drinking and if he'd been sick, all that he'd eaten in the afternoon would have come up too. Also, on several occassions prior to this, when he's been this upset, I've thought he might throw up. So really, it shouldn't be that surprising that he got upset enough to actually barf this time. And I know people with kids who do this on a regular basis.....
So Jason takes him upstairs for a bath with the understanding that it is bedtime afterward. At 7pm, Caroline and I go up and Bryce is getting into bed and I read him a book while Caroline gets bathed. At this point, Bryce has reverted back to his Dr. Jekyll mode and is as sweet as can be. He asks why he's going to bed already and I tell him it's because he didn't eat his dinner and because he threw a huge fit. He says he's hungry and I tell him that the only thing he's allowed to eat is the ziti. So he consents, goes downstairs, and proceeds to eat 1 1/2 helpings of the stuff without ANY prompting. Not only does he eat it well, he eats it completely with his fork and without making a mess at all. He goes upstairs, brushes his teeth for the 2nd time and he's his usual self. Because he ended up eating what he was supposed to, I felt like we had "won" but why did it take so much to get him to eat it? Just proof that when a 2 1/2 year old makes up his mind to eat or not eat something, it's going to be quite a battle to get him to understand that mommy and daddy are the bosses. I'm just glad he didn't have to go to bed on a completely empty tummy - even though I feel it's important for them to realize they can't eat whatever they want, I do feel bad if they choose not to eat.
Onto the next battle, I suppose.
We had baked ziti last night for dinner - something he usually eats without question. When we put it down in front of him, the first thing he asked was for no sauce. Now, when we have spaghetti, we always give them the option of no sauce, which he has recently adopted since Caroline has always chosen naked pasta. So I told him, no, that all pasta has sauce on it tonight and he needed to taste it before he passed judgement. He insisted he didn't like it and pushed it away.
So we all sit down and eat - Caroline is eating away and commenting that it's tasty while Bryce sits and drinks his milk and refuses to eat the ziti. Jay and I are engaging the kids in conversation, as usual, and Bryce keeps insisting he doesn't like the ziti even though he has not tasted it. So the 3 of us finish our food and Bryce still hasn't taken a single bite and I remind him that if he doesn't at least taste the food, he isn't eligible for any other food in the evening. I also tell him that tasting it is a requirement if he wants to get down before bathtime and Jay straps him into his booster to be sure he can't get out. Of course that makes him royally angry and I go ahead and put the tray of the booster seat on to prevent his attempts at twisting around. (I was very thankful later on, that I had done this!)
I go about cleaning up dinner while Jason and Caroline play together in the playroom. Bryce continues to cry and is starting to cough and get REALLY worked up about not wanting to eat and wanting to get down. And then, all of a sudden, SPLAT!!!!! He throws up! Ugh. Now this is where I am glad about the tray since it contained a large part of his expulsion. My first thought is wondering if he's still sick, but then I realize the only thing he threw up was the milk he'd been drinking and if he'd been sick, all that he'd eaten in the afternoon would have come up too. Also, on several occassions prior to this, when he's been this upset, I've thought he might throw up. So really, it shouldn't be that surprising that he got upset enough to actually barf this time. And I know people with kids who do this on a regular basis.....
So Jason takes him upstairs for a bath with the understanding that it is bedtime afterward. At 7pm, Caroline and I go up and Bryce is getting into bed and I read him a book while Caroline gets bathed. At this point, Bryce has reverted back to his Dr. Jekyll mode and is as sweet as can be. He asks why he's going to bed already and I tell him it's because he didn't eat his dinner and because he threw a huge fit. He says he's hungry and I tell him that the only thing he's allowed to eat is the ziti. So he consents, goes downstairs, and proceeds to eat 1 1/2 helpings of the stuff without ANY prompting. Not only does he eat it well, he eats it completely with his fork and without making a mess at all. He goes upstairs, brushes his teeth for the 2nd time and he's his usual self. Because he ended up eating what he was supposed to, I felt like we had "won" but why did it take so much to get him to eat it? Just proof that when a 2 1/2 year old makes up his mind to eat or not eat something, it's going to be quite a battle to get him to understand that mommy and daddy are the bosses. I'm just glad he didn't have to go to bed on a completely empty tummy - even though I feel it's important for them to realize they can't eat whatever they want, I do feel bad if they choose not to eat.
Onto the next battle, I suppose.
Friday, July 06, 2007
My Early Morning Cardio
I hadn't planned on doing any kind of cardio this morning before work, but Caroline had other ideas. I must say, it was a decent workout - chasing her down, wrestling clothes on her, keeping her legs and arms from flailing while getting her ready - all great for my heart and my muscles. Although not so good for my psyche.
It started out like any other morning and I thought it had potential to be just fine. She had plenty of time to wake up and was even laying in her bed smiling and talking to me when I popped my head in a few times to make sure she was starting to wake up. I know that Caroline cannot be rushed and have gotten into habits to help her along in the morning. Unfortunately, none of that worked this morning.
I reminded her that she could earn some more points for her chart by getting herself dressed and set her clothes on her bed. I sat on the floor with Bryce and told her to get dressed. She kept monkeying around and doing anything but. At this point, I also reminded her how proud mommy and daddy are of her when she dresses herself, then I left the room with Bryce to brush his teeth. I thought things were progressing since I could see her pajama bottoms at the end of the bed. But in reality, that is where she stopped because when I went back into her room, there she was, laying on her bed - naked - sucking her thumb. Nice.
I had lost all patience at this point and just started getting her ready. And this is where it all goes downhill - and I knew that it would. But what am I supposed to do? (Seriously folks, if you have suggestions, I'd like them.) She won't do what I say and it's not like I have 3 hours before I have to leave. I'm okay being a little late for work on account of something like this, so it's not like I'm anxious about leaving late or anything.
She'll say (SCREAM!) that she wants to do something but when given the chance, she does not do it. I'm about to start banging my head against the wall. I've tried different tactics - making her laugh, giving her extra love/cuddles, giving her extra time, distracting her - and sometimes those things work, but more often then not lately, they do not. Caroline wants to do what Caroline wants to do.
In the evenings and weekends when she does this stuff (she rarely acts like this at daycare) we'll often respond with time outs in her room and then we tag team and she calms down. But I don't have those options in the morning. And I've tried doing timeouts and she'll sit and scream for 30 minutes - she just won't calm down.
I hate that once she goes down this slippery slope to tantrum-ville that there is NO going back. And I hate that I feel like sometimes I walk on eggshells to prevent her from going down there. But sometimes it's just unavoidable.
I hate starting our day like this. I hate that she screamed her head off the entire ride to daycare and even once in the door. However, I believe she realized at that point that I was going to leave and she became very sheepish and sat on my lap rather than continuing to fight me. So I sat with her on my lap, fighting my own tears, at how we started our day. I told her that I loved her no matter what and that I didn't like her behavior. Of course, at this point she always agrees and says she's sorry. But sorry doesn't mean anything when I know she'll do it again.
Let me tell you, this does worlds of good for my mood these days. No wonder statistics have shown that mothers of young children are much more likely to be depressed. If they are battling behavior like this, it's amazing that we're not all in the looney bin.
It started out like any other morning and I thought it had potential to be just fine. She had plenty of time to wake up and was even laying in her bed smiling and talking to me when I popped my head in a few times to make sure she was starting to wake up. I know that Caroline cannot be rushed and have gotten into habits to help her along in the morning. Unfortunately, none of that worked this morning.
I reminded her that she could earn some more points for her chart by getting herself dressed and set her clothes on her bed. I sat on the floor with Bryce and told her to get dressed. She kept monkeying around and doing anything but. At this point, I also reminded her how proud mommy and daddy are of her when she dresses herself, then I left the room with Bryce to brush his teeth. I thought things were progressing since I could see her pajama bottoms at the end of the bed. But in reality, that is where she stopped because when I went back into her room, there she was, laying on her bed - naked - sucking her thumb. Nice.
I had lost all patience at this point and just started getting her ready. And this is where it all goes downhill - and I knew that it would. But what am I supposed to do? (Seriously folks, if you have suggestions, I'd like them.) She won't do what I say and it's not like I have 3 hours before I have to leave. I'm okay being a little late for work on account of something like this, so it's not like I'm anxious about leaving late or anything.
She'll say (SCREAM!) that she wants to do something but when given the chance, she does not do it. I'm about to start banging my head against the wall. I've tried different tactics - making her laugh, giving her extra love/cuddles, giving her extra time, distracting her - and sometimes those things work, but more often then not lately, they do not. Caroline wants to do what Caroline wants to do.
In the evenings and weekends when she does this stuff (she rarely acts like this at daycare) we'll often respond with time outs in her room and then we tag team and she calms down. But I don't have those options in the morning. And I've tried doing timeouts and she'll sit and scream for 30 minutes - she just won't calm down.
I hate that once she goes down this slippery slope to tantrum-ville that there is NO going back. And I hate that I feel like sometimes I walk on eggshells to prevent her from going down there. But sometimes it's just unavoidable.
I hate starting our day like this. I hate that she screamed her head off the entire ride to daycare and even once in the door. However, I believe she realized at that point that I was going to leave and she became very sheepish and sat on my lap rather than continuing to fight me. So I sat with her on my lap, fighting my own tears, at how we started our day. I told her that I loved her no matter what and that I didn't like her behavior. Of course, at this point she always agrees and says she's sorry. But sorry doesn't mean anything when I know she'll do it again.
Let me tell you, this does worlds of good for my mood these days. No wonder statistics have shown that mothers of young children are much more likely to be depressed. If they are battling behavior like this, it's amazing that we're not all in the looney bin.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Man to Man
I think Jason and Bryce had their first "man to man" conversation tonight. The kids had just gotten home when I arrived home this evening and they were both happy to see me. Bryce immediately latched on and started his usual fit when I try to put him down to use the bathroom. Then dinner was ready and I tried to put him in his chair. And the fit began. He's pulled this exact routine several times and I know tonight's was probably largely motivated by the fact that he missed me, but he cannot act like this. He knows what he's doing. He'll attempt to throw his cup and plate full of food on the floor and then scream and hit. So we decided we were going to make him sit in time out on the steps (in the front foyer, away from the kitchen) until he calmed down. Jason kept making sure he would stay there and when he would stop crying, he would talk to him and tell him he had to go and eat his dinner. Of course, then we'd put him back in the chair and he'd start screaming for me again. So back to the steps for him. This happened about 5 more times. It was at this point that I heard Jason having a conversation with Bryce by the steps telling him he had to calm down and go back in the kitchen and get in his chair and eat. He told Bryce that mommy would be right there, but that he had to sit in his chair and eat. At this point, Bryce comes walking back in the kitchen, takes one look at me, starts to cry and heads back to the steps. It was like he just knew he couldn't take it. Finally after a few more times of this, Bryce came back in calmly, I picked him up but didn't cuddle him and then put him in his chair. He happily ate the Polenta Lasagna and had a nice dinner conversation with me involving his love for "to tos" and "lenta" and "chokes." (Tomatoes, polenta and artichokes) I couldn't believe how hungry he was - but I guess a good tantrum will do wonders for your appetite.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
18 months
I also almost forgot to add.....
Happy 18 month birthday to my Brycey!
A year and a half, where has the time gone? I was within less than 3 months of having him when Caroline was this age. OMG, I'm so glad I'm not expecting anytime soon b/c he could NOT handle it. He has a full blown case of mommy-itis and throws HORRIBLE tantrums when he can't have me all to himself. This evening Caroline needed some extra cuddles since she wasn't feeling well and you would have thought that I was making Sophie's choice!!! The kid can turn on the tears faster than you can believe and unleash a blood curdling scream. He's seriously in need of mommy. But then I pick him up, he lays his head on my shoulder and it's like he's in heaven. He even makes little happy sighs as he snuggles in. I'm sure if I had a big preggo belly, he would be NONE too pleased. I think the timing of him being closer to 3 for our 3rd child will work out much better b/c then at least he'll be able to express himself better. Or at least I hope so!!!
Happy 18 month birthday to my Brycey!
A year and a half, where has the time gone? I was within less than 3 months of having him when Caroline was this age. OMG, I'm so glad I'm not expecting anytime soon b/c he could NOT handle it. He has a full blown case of mommy-itis and throws HORRIBLE tantrums when he can't have me all to himself. This evening Caroline needed some extra cuddles since she wasn't feeling well and you would have thought that I was making Sophie's choice!!! The kid can turn on the tears faster than you can believe and unleash a blood curdling scream. He's seriously in need of mommy. But then I pick him up, he lays his head on my shoulder and it's like he's in heaven. He even makes little happy sighs as he snuggles in. I'm sure if I had a big preggo belly, he would be NONE too pleased. I think the timing of him being closer to 3 for our 3rd child will work out much better b/c then at least he'll be able to express himself better. Or at least I hope so!!!
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Boogies Go In Nose
Yesterday after one of Bryce's crying fits, we looked at him and he had this huge boogie right under his eye. Caroline was talking about it and I think Bryce kind of understood b/c he started using his hands to look for it. So when he found it, I told him to bring it to mommy (funny how we do this, huh?) but instead, he looked at it and sat and diligently tried to put it back in his nose. Of course, we all started laughing and this made him try even harder. I still don't know what happened to that boogie. Maybe his body reabsorbed it. Gross!
Speaking of Bryce's fits, he is starting to show us how difficult the twos may be for him. He's not talking nearly as much as Caroline was at this point and he gets easily frustrated since we aren't sure what he wants. (We do some hand signs with him, but when he gets really upset - quite often - he doesn't do them.) Usually everything errupts into him yelling "Mommy!" or "Daddy!" or just screaming his head off. Last night as I was getting dinner ready, I think he was hungry and he kept trying to climb up my legs so Jason picked him up and put him in his chair since dinner was almost ready. Jay gave him his cup and some raisins in hopes of calming him down. NOPE! He was so mad that he screamed and cried and got himself so worked up he started gagging and coughing. Even when Jason finally took him out of his chair that wasn't enough and didn't calm down until I took him.
I'm wondering if this is a form of seperation anxiety. He has never cried when I leave him at Cathy's in the morning - but then she's almost his 2nd mother since he's been going to her since he was 10 weeks old. But he wants me anytime he's at home. Sometimes I just want to let him cry and realize he isn't going to get mommy all the time, but I don't know if that's really effective at this point. It's really hard since Caroline is so independent and we've never really had this issue with her - although she does cry when I leave sometimes in the morning, but not often. I just feel like this is such a great example of how these types of personality traits are genetic and not taught since I feel like we've been pretty consistent with how we are raising them. Anyway, they say that seperation anxiety usually peaks around 18 months so I'm hoping that as that passes and as he starts talking more (Please!) that his tantrum/fits will be a little more managable.
Speaking of Bryce's fits, he is starting to show us how difficult the twos may be for him. He's not talking nearly as much as Caroline was at this point and he gets easily frustrated since we aren't sure what he wants. (We do some hand signs with him, but when he gets really upset - quite often - he doesn't do them.) Usually everything errupts into him yelling "Mommy!" or "Daddy!" or just screaming his head off. Last night as I was getting dinner ready, I think he was hungry and he kept trying to climb up my legs so Jason picked him up and put him in his chair since dinner was almost ready. Jay gave him his cup and some raisins in hopes of calming him down. NOPE! He was so mad that he screamed and cried and got himself so worked up he started gagging and coughing. Even when Jason finally took him out of his chair that wasn't enough and didn't calm down until I took him.
I'm wondering if this is a form of seperation anxiety. He has never cried when I leave him at Cathy's in the morning - but then she's almost his 2nd mother since he's been going to her since he was 10 weeks old. But he wants me anytime he's at home. Sometimes I just want to let him cry and realize he isn't going to get mommy all the time, but I don't know if that's really effective at this point. It's really hard since Caroline is so independent and we've never really had this issue with her - although she does cry when I leave sometimes in the morning, but not often. I just feel like this is such a great example of how these types of personality traits are genetic and not taught since I feel like we've been pretty consistent with how we are raising them. Anyway, they say that seperation anxiety usually peaks around 18 months so I'm hoping that as that passes and as he starts talking more (Please!) that his tantrum/fits will be a little more managable.
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Don't Forget the Extra Pair of Stick On Earrings
This morning I took Caroline to see Charlotte's Web. It was such a good movie and she was so excited to sit there with me, eat popcorn and marvel at the movie. She said some funny things throughout the film and pointed things out and asked where Charlotte was a lot. But all that was kind of a little tarnished when just as the movie was ending she must have been fiddling with one of her stick on earrings and it fell. Well, she kind of whined about it, but as we were leaving it was turning into a fit. I realized that was where it was going and couldn't convince her it was okay and we had another matching pair at home. All she kept saying was "I want my earring." The movie started at 11:50, so it was ending right around the time she's ready for a nap and her fatigue combined with the sadness of losing a pretty stick on earring was devastating for her. I sensed a full out tantrum might be coming so I picked her up and got her to the car as fast as I could. She cried a bit in the car on the way home, but that's not a big deal. She fell asleep about a mile from the house and when I put her in her bed, she woke up and a tantrum ensued. She didn't want to nap and she didn't want to eat. I couldn't win. Jason couldn't win. But I had an idea, I went into the bathroom, found the matching earrings and took one of them. Then I hid it in my hand and knelt over her on the floor. I was talking to her and I said, "OH MY GOSH CAROLINE, the earring didn't fall on the floor, it was stuck to your shirt. It's a miracle!" She was THRILLED. She was giggling and kept saying, "It's a mer-cal." She still has them on too. It perked her right back up - so clearly the loss of an earring really was very upsetting for her. Poor kid.
Oh and I think Bryce thinks he's a dog sometimes. I was unloading the dishwasher this evening and he loves to play in the water that accumulates on the door as you're unloading the top shelf and dumping it off. Well usually, I'm just trying to keep him out if it from getting too wet, but today he leans over and is trying to drink it. YUCK! I said kind of rhetorically, "Bryce, are you a dog?" And he responds with some barking and a big smile. That kid is going to be a real comedian as he grows up. We can tell already!
Oh and I think Bryce thinks he's a dog sometimes. I was unloading the dishwasher this evening and he loves to play in the water that accumulates on the door as you're unloading the top shelf and dumping it off. Well usually, I'm just trying to keep him out if it from getting too wet, but today he leans over and is trying to drink it. YUCK! I said kind of rhetorically, "Bryce, are you a dog?" And he responds with some barking and a big smile. That kid is going to be a real comedian as he grows up. We can tell already!
Monday, January 01, 2007
Tantruming in the New Year
Caroline started 2007 out with a bang - a big old, extended TANTRUM. It all started when we asked her to change her wet pull up. Oh the horror! I gave her a time out for refusing and then she ran upstairs and slammed her door behind her. I went in after her and told her that she couldn't leave her room until she made a good choice and put on either a clean pullup or big girl panties. She was refusing both and I was not going to wrangle them on her. So I sat there blocking her way out of the room and ignoring her while she sat and screamed over and over that she did not want to change her pullup. Then she decided to get back in bed. I told her she could stay in her room until she decided to change it and I left. She proceeded to scream and hit the door but then she did take off her pull up, but when she thought it was a better idea to put the wet pullup back on, I took it from her and started to put it in the diaper pail. Of course she wanted to put it in herself, so I gave it to her, but something in her little head short circuited because instead of putting it in the diaper pail, she proceeded to stuff the crotch of the wet pull up IN HER MOUTH! Needless to say, I grabbed it out of her mouth and put it into the diaper pail myself since it was very clear she was not going to do it even though she screamed that she wanted to. So I took her back into her room and told her she needed to put a pull up or panties on. She screamed no and I left her in the room again. After about 10 minutes of screaming over and over that she wanted to put the pull up in the diaper pail, I went back in and told her that I was taking away Diego until she put on bottoms. She chased me down the hallway and at this point I decided I'd had it and Jason came in for backup. I sat and sipped my coffee listening to the battle raging above me. In this battle and in her continued refusal she had her dollhouse taken away AND her CD player before she finally relented and asked Jason to help her put on her fresh pull up. So she'll have to earn those things back.
I think this is the difference between the 2's and the 3's. While they both have tantrums over completely mundane things, the 3 year old tantrum lasts MUCH longer and escalates much quicker. This entire affair lasted about an hour and when she came downstairs it took her about 20 minutes to sit and recover from her exertion. So maybe that means she'll take a good nap today? But when she was recovered, she sweetly asked for some waffles for breakfast and has been on good behavior since. I think I hear them in the family room now hooking up the Vsmile that she got from SIL for Christmas. She'll be whipping our tails in no time, I'm sure.
I think this is the difference between the 2's and the 3's. While they both have tantrums over completely mundane things, the 3 year old tantrum lasts MUCH longer and escalates much quicker. This entire affair lasted about an hour and when she came downstairs it took her about 20 minutes to sit and recover from her exertion. So maybe that means she'll take a good nap today? But when she was recovered, she sweetly asked for some waffles for breakfast and has been on good behavior since. I think I hear them in the family room now hooking up the Vsmile that she got from SIL for Christmas. She'll be whipping our tails in no time, I'm sure.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Oh the toddler angst
It seems that the terrible twos are escalating even as we approach Caroline's 3rd birthday. She's become more determined to do things herself - which is fine. The problem is that she wants to do them herself but then either won't do it or is unable to do them herself. So if you try to help her, a HUGE tantrum ensues or if you try to hurry her along or make her do it, an even BIGGER tantrum ensues. I gotta say, it's draining the life out of me. There is nothing I can say or do to make it easier.
I try to give her space and time to do things in her own toddler time frame, but sometimes that is just not possible. The mornings before work often turn into a mommy vs. Caroline Wrestlemania where I am forcing clothes on her so that we can get out the door by 7am.
But what kills me is that when the battle is over and she's calmed down, she will go back to being as sweet as can be. This morning was pretty bad as I attempted to ready her for my sister's arrival to pick Caroline up for a trip downtown to the Baltimore Farmer's Market. When Chrissa arrived at 9am, Caroline was a little sheepish, but in about 5 minutes was being her adorable, expressive self. Minutes before, she had been screaming at the top of the steps that she wanted to brush her teeth by herself (she HAD brushed them herself, I had just turned the water off and taken her toothbrush away after she had been "brushing" them for 10 minutes.) Then b/c Jason and I were ignoring her, she came downstairs and walked up to me where I was sitting at the kitchen table hit me in the side and yelled that she wanted to brush her teeth herself. That landed her a one way trip to a time out since we do not tolerate any kind of hitting where she proceeded to cry in the chair until she realized I wasn't going to give into her. That is where my sister arrived and it was like everything had been fine.
These kind of interactions with her are wearing me out physically and mentally. I don't know how much more I can take. And I know that at about the time she outgrows them, we're going to start getting them from Bryce - who I worry might be worse since he's already showing us what a temper he has - even as a 13 month old.
I try to give her space and time to do things in her own toddler time frame, but sometimes that is just not possible. The mornings before work often turn into a mommy vs. Caroline Wrestlemania where I am forcing clothes on her so that we can get out the door by 7am.
But what kills me is that when the battle is over and she's calmed down, she will go back to being as sweet as can be. This morning was pretty bad as I attempted to ready her for my sister's arrival to pick Caroline up for a trip downtown to the Baltimore Farmer's Market. When Chrissa arrived at 9am, Caroline was a little sheepish, but in about 5 minutes was being her adorable, expressive self. Minutes before, she had been screaming at the top of the steps that she wanted to brush her teeth by herself (she HAD brushed them herself, I had just turned the water off and taken her toothbrush away after she had been "brushing" them for 10 minutes.) Then b/c Jason and I were ignoring her, she came downstairs and walked up to me where I was sitting at the kitchen table hit me in the side and yelled that she wanted to brush her teeth herself. That landed her a one way trip to a time out since we do not tolerate any kind of hitting where she proceeded to cry in the chair until she realized I wasn't going to give into her. That is where my sister arrived and it was like everything had been fine.
These kind of interactions with her are wearing me out physically and mentally. I don't know how much more I can take. And I know that at about the time she outgrows them, we're going to start getting them from Bryce - who I worry might be worse since he's already showing us what a temper he has - even as a 13 month old.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
TT = Terrible Twos & Temper Tantrums!
So Caroline threw the biggest tantrum yet yesterday. And what caused it? I took away her Mr. Potato Head set b/c she kept putting the smaller pieces in her mouth after I told her not to. So I took the bucket and hid it and she threw the fit to end all fits. So I basically ignored her for a while and after she smacked my legs, I took her on a one way trip up to her crib where she proceeded to scream for another 15 minutes before passing out for 2 hours. (She woke up happy as a lark!)
Those times really try my patience. I keep reading to ignore them and the kid will get the picture that they aren't going to maniuplate mom and dad that way. Apparently even trying to console them gives them positive attention for negative behavior. So I can handle these tantrums at home and I hope she'll figure it out so she doesn't throw them in public. (That is one of my big fears!)
I really think it's a combination of her wanting things and the sibling rivalry. She shows nothing but love and interest in Bryce, but I think Jason and I get the short end of the stick sometimes. She is very easily frustrated when we can't play with her or help her if we're holding Bryce...especially when I'm nursing him.
So what is UP with the darn weather? It's so humid I feel like I could melt. I'm ready for FALL. I hear it's coming tomorrow!
Those times really try my patience. I keep reading to ignore them and the kid will get the picture that they aren't going to maniuplate mom and dad that way. Apparently even trying to console them gives them positive attention for negative behavior. So I can handle these tantrums at home and I hope she'll figure it out so she doesn't throw them in public. (That is one of my big fears!)
I really think it's a combination of her wanting things and the sibling rivalry. She shows nothing but love and interest in Bryce, but I think Jason and I get the short end of the stick sometimes. She is very easily frustrated when we can't play with her or help her if we're holding Bryce...especially when I'm nursing him.
So what is UP with the darn weather? It's so humid I feel like I could melt. I'm ready for FALL. I hear it's coming tomorrow!
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